Not until I can.

I went to the DMV. I finally got a coveted appointment that I've been waiting forever for. I go back again in two weeks but now I know the system. It felt like a military operation done poorly, growing up in a military community, I know how well it can be done.

It was chaotic and people were pissed and impatient and when you have to leave the line to fill out a form you have to leave the building, stand outside, then come back in. Even in the rain which I promise is not helpful for filling out forms.

And. I did it.

I am one of those people who likes to have only 1 thing to do a day that feels major. Like this. Or making a phone call. Then I need 3 days off to recover.

My partner is opposite. He does multiple multiple things in a day, seemingly having 10 more hours than the rest of us. He doesn't appear to need recovery time, the 'things' he does feeds his energy.

I was actually nauseous driving to go get my license. I had never been there. I wasn't sure I would have all the right papers even though I was over prepared. I had no idea what the Corona policies were. And just the mere fact that it was adulting. $115 later, I have an in state MA license. (I never thought I would live in MA - another letter for another time.)

Recently we dug out a 37' by 27' area of our yard next to our garden box in suburbia (which used to be farmland) and we have been prepping it for a Fall garden. There is a space next to it for our someday chicken coop and we are talking about where we could put potatoes and an asparagus bed.

I love it. This is who I am. I've been dreaming of having a little farm for as long as I can remember. The kids all had mandatory help the family farm times, they pulled out roots and grass and helped turn over the soil and then they each planted one row of vegetables so they can feel connected to that crop.

It is hard work and this isn't even a full operation. My body is sore, my hands have blisters, my feet are aching from standing up for two days straight canning and freezing food.

The idea of canning has been one that fear took over. I was sure I would screw it up. But every time I saw a photo of someone putting up food my insides ached. This is me, I thought.

So. I went out to get everything I would need and let me tell you, not a jar lifter or canning rack to be found. Amazon is like mid August deliveries. 

Now, I am afraid of this thing I don't even have the tools for.

I did it anyway. I learned some hacks and I bought jars and I asked people for recipes and tips and it feels like a community of canning is all around me. Dearest Amelia wrote out her mother's method of canning for me. Someone sent their grandmother's recipes. I am collecting beautiful recipes and ordering a couple books.

I made dill pickles, bread and butter pickles, strawberry jam (too sweet but gorgeous), more dill pickles, mixed berry jam (OMG so good, I messed up the recipe the fruit is measured mashed not cut up).

It seems like a lot of pickles, because this is only the start, but they honestly taste like flavored cucumbers when you are using your own or farm stand cucumbers. We will eat them on our sandwiches all year long!

Today I am making chutney with nectarines and cherries and raisins sprinkled with cinnamon. Arugula pesto is frozen into three jars. The fourth didn't make it as I stuck my spatula into the blender before the blades calmed down. Now we have a little piece of plastic floating around in a not so blended batch. I told my family it would be like the little plastic baby in those cakes for New Year's. 

I am dreaming about the tools so I won't feel like I am holding the operation together with a bandaid. It does please me that the world is canning pickles now.

I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't write my newsletter until I canned. Check. And check.

Here I will be falling down rabbit holes of youtube videos including hand pollinating squash, why tomato leaves are curling, no till gardening, what to plant in August, building chicken coops, faking a root cellar, zucchini tips you wished you had known and the only method for tying up tomato plants you'll ever need!!!!

My plan is to start food preparations with 3 months of food in late Fall and then learn to increase that to 6 months. We are a big family so I need to get really specific on meals and what we need.


My other rabbit hole is creating a new circle for some time this August. (We will be making space, hint.)

Today I'll begin posting again to (re)spiriting style, now including simple homegoods like mugs, bottles, baskets and pretty little things. My goal is to post something each day, keeping a flow of treasures running through the feed. I want it to feel like a cute little shop you just wandered into off the street.

OK, onward to pickle land. Love to you all.

xo H

P.S. Keep sending me your recipes, I plan to try them all.