What drains you?

What drains me is anything I have to do. Anything. All of it.

If I give myself enough time to worry, think, roll things over, anticipate, expect or make up stories I am toast.

The predicament is that most of the things I have to do I enjoy, I've designed my life TO BE DOING.

So the drain is the wasted time waiting to do something, to talk myself into it, to find time, to ride the edge of deadlines.

I used to clean my house with the incentive to rearrange the furniture, if I rearranged I had to clean, it excited me, so I would do it. Sometimes I bribe myself with making lunch if I do _____ or ________ first. Those games are fun, but they aren't sustainable. It is a recipe for burnout. Short-lasting.

The paradox of all of this is that if I create a system for what I have to do, I can outsmart the drain. EVEN though I know what I have to do (and when), if I have the system set up I don't create all the drama and worry around it.

If I know I do a voice recording on a certain morning over coffee after the kids go to school, I don't spend hours and hours rearranging when I'll do it and negotiating with myself. Now, from the outside parts of my personality might seem to lend to a more free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants approach. AND, I'm a Virgo and an Enneagram 4 and a rebel; I've got a lot of contradiction.

Discovering that I thrive on systems and rituals and rhythm according to my sleep, nourishment, touch time, most focused times and my moon cycle allow me to do more in less time. This still kind of messes with my sense of reality, but I've never been one to think of time as linear.

One of the things people can think about writers is that they wait for inspiration. Actually, if writers were to wait, we'd have a lot less books piled up on our night stands.

Most writers I know practice systems and rituals. They stare at blank pages because it is time to write. They put on certain clothes and then sit down to write. They have one chosen chair or desk or pen or music or whatever gets them in.

If you struggle with change and stepping into devotion and dedication around something, I made a little video below. The videos were the thing I wanted to accomplish, 6 days of videos