My Unplug

What I learned from a day of no computer, phone (except a couple calls to Patrick), texts or virtual connections of any kind.

1. You all survived fine without me on Facebook and Twitter. You were able to procrastinate without me adding my thoughts.
2. Despite a deep need to be missed, I did not have messages waiting for me of any urgency or sadness for my day away.
3. I realized how absolutely funny my two year old is. I knew he was funny, but he served as an amazing distraction and honestly, the kid cracks me up.
4. I had an intense need to shop and spend money. I didn't, but it meant staying home to stop the urge. We played Monopoly after school and I bought every property I landed on. It satisfied me.
5. When Lucas napped, instead of feeling panicked for time, I ate lunch and then felt a little lonely. I usually go on the computer and write when he naps. The dishes were done.
6. I was flooded by ideas, and even though I set a rule to not "work" I scribbled frantic notes for ideas, blog posts and inspiration.
7. I wished that I had someone else to spend the day with or a beach to sit on.
8. Having time in my home without an agenda of writing, e-mails, etc, opened up connection to my space. I started picking out new paint colors and planning the upstairs dream (by dream I simply mean, existence of, sauna is on vision board) rooms that our big ole' family needs.
9. I was able to tackle some serious clutter and the process has continued. This is a great way to clear the mind, perfect compliment to a virtual unplug.
10. This time was deeply needed and something that I want to practice weekly. Thursdays might become my day along with Friday nights into Saturday. My family needs it, my brain and eyes need it and my spirit will surely thank me.

I would love to hear about your needs for unplugging and plugging into other parts of your life. Leave a comment and share your experience, thoughts and inspire us!

None of Your Business

Actually it's none of mine.

It's none of my business what you think about me. This is from Dr. Wayne Dyer and a sentence, a statement, that my brain likes to roll over and over. I've debated it with friends, discussed it with Patrick and eventually fallen in love with it's message. Bald men can have that effect on me!

It really made me a little mad at first. I'm one of those quick reaction people. (Working on it!) How can it not be my business? We all love a compliment, a kind word, the encouragement of those we look up to. It's none of your business what others think of you.

Does this conflict with one of my favorite quotes (from Uncle Iroh-Avatar-the cartoon) that I have written on my wall?

How often do we write something or do something only to wait eagerly for the response of someone else? The anticipated response becomes the focus, not the action or words that for us held purpose. And if the response is not what we would have hoped, how does that affect our feelings on what we did, wrote, said? The experience has shifted, it is no longer ours because the power was given away.

I tend not to follow the book on most things. I don't run my business according to any strict formula or rules and I don't always say what you want to hear, rather what I feel honestly should be said. Kind of like when Wayne told me what you all think of me is none of my business! I didn't really want to hear that. If I'm going to not follow the book it seems that this concept needs to be embraced.

I gave a talk for a group of women recently. I instantly went into my head and wondered what they thought of me. I remembered that it was none of my business, which often serves to bring me out of my head. I shifted that focus to feeling the energy of what I created. I put some new ideas and thoughts out into that space. I pull things into my life when I am in my power, when I am believing in what I do, stand for, am. Being liked used to be so important to me.

If it is none of my business what anyone else thinks of me, what do I do with that? I shift the focus from the wondering, the what if's, into my joy. It is a powerful shift having nothing to do with being able to accept a compliment or learn of other's reactions. It's a place inside, of knowing that if you are acting with truth, love and joy you simply pull more of that into your life.

...but a little belief from others, goes a long way!

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How do you feel about what I think of you being none of your business? What's your first reaction to this?

Meet Elisabeth

I would like you to meet Elisabeth Schenenga who will be teaching yoga at our Day Retreat. Elisabeth and I met through my group coaching program which has been going strong now for almost one year. I asked Elisabeth to teach yoga at one of our groups and we all instantly fell in love with her calming, yet energizing yoga (and her patience for all of the beginners). Her passion is apparent when she teaches, and I am excited to share her with you. Even if you won't be at our Day Retreat, you will still enjoy Elisabeth's words.

Can you share a little bio: I was introduced to yoga in high school by one of my ballet teachers and have been a student ever since.  I've enjoyed many different styles of yoga over the years: ashtanga, bikram, hatha, prenatal, itsy bitsy baby to name a few. I am a registered 200hr teacher with the yoga alliance and received my training through Spirit Tree Yoga at All That Matters. I teach one class a week (Yoga Basics @ Sundance on Wednesday nights!) and am truly honored to be able to share yoga with other students. Every day I try to carry the peace and calm that yoga brings me off the mat and into my life with 3 little kids!

Favorite Quote: There are so many great ones, but this one is on my fridge: "Make voyages. Attempt them. There is nothing else." Tenessee Williams

Power Food: Green smoothie with kale and parlsey

Best Kid Story: I was just thinking today about when my son, who had recently turned 3, was having a grumpy day. I said to him, "Where did my sweet boy go?." With a completely straight face he replied, "He's gone. I ate him." Where you find breathing space: Yoga - on my mat, in my bedroom once kids have gone to sleep. Also in your amazing connecting groups!

Most loved book: Nimby: An Extraordinary Cloud Who Meets a Remarkable Friend by Jasper Tomkins

Why yoga: It just feels right. What you are making for dinner tonight: Black bean burritos

Happy Friday!

Fridays always make me smile. It's my day that Lucas is with our babysitter and I have the entire day, yes - to work. I am taking a moment today to feel blessed to able to work with the women who come into my life, those of you who take time to leave your voice on the blog in the comments and for all the amazing new adventures that are coming up. We managed to have a calm breakfast this morning (not a calm morning however), with yogurt for the boys and soup for the girls. Tea helps us ease into these cold winter mornings.

Some fun stuff to share with you on Happy Friday.

A new {Living It} Interview with the gorgeous Kate Northrup. Hop over and listen while you enjoy your tea today.

The Fill Your Bucket Retreat tickets are on sale until Feb 1st so grab yours. There are limited tickets and what a perfect Valentine's gift, focus on YOU. I also added a much shorter video on there, drinking a smoothie in my car. Collards, mango and almond milk! The amazing Dyana Valentine who makes the most wonderful videos, gave me some web-cam tips! Thanks D!

I have archived all my past  newsletters onto a page for you to see. Check them out and make sure you sign up for the newsletter list if you aren't. That cute little arrow to the right shows you where. If you like the blog and the newsletter, suggest it to a friend who could use some energy and positive words in their day.

Believe in the power of YOU today. Your energy, your body, your cells, your ability to love. Happy Friday!

Vlog - Fill Your Bucket Day Retreat

Few things....the sound is off, I am sitting at a strange angle so that my eyes don't seem to be looking down and it is so long, I am hoping you can make it through. The point is, I did it. My real first vlog! With video this time. Like all things, the more we practice, the better we become. So today I share my thoughts on filling your bucket and tell you a bit about the retreat.

Sign up for the Fill Your Bucket Day Retreat  HERE.

Can you imagine where our lives could take us if we did something every day that made us uncomfortable and took us so out of our comfort zone? Life would start to have some magic. Colors would start appearing that before you had never seen.

What could you do today to move out of your comfort zone?

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I wrote about the event that helped me discover that I needed to keep my bucket filled on this post.

The Pleasure Factor In Weight Loss

Recently I read this article about weight loss that left me feeling pissed off. (Please note, this is not a criticism of the author, simply my take on a subject that I am passionate about.) I wondered why I had such a strong reaction to it, other than what might seem obvious (no mention of bio-individuality or life situation -a mother sleeping the same 8 hours each day- um?). I knew something deeper was calling to me, and one day it spoke loudly, "what about the pleasure factor?" Yes, pleasure. Without pleasure we are just on another diet, in another form, with rules. Rules that will carry us to overwhelming success until we can no longer restrict and keep ourselves peeled away from pleasure. I read things that boast to be "the last you'll ever need" in blogs, newspapers, signs and yet if any one of them was the last thing, wouldn't we find ourselves without a health crisis?

When I used to diet, or restrict myself, I possessed an enormous sense of control. I loved that I could eat just this or that and become skinny, fast. Eventually I would feel so good in my skinny body, that just one or two little cheats would enter in. Those little bites and tastes of something forbidden were so good. I could feel the pleasure that my body was getting from them. Those little bites would turn into over indulging (this might be the last time I ever can eat this again so eat, then go back to restricting). Enter lack of control. Pleasure was no where around.

Pleasure is not derived from restriction or over indulging. It does not come to us by way of standing in the pantry shoving chips in our mouths. It does not come to us by proclaiming we will never eat another noodle again. It does not come to us by denying the things we love or regretting the choices we made an hour ago. (Remember Hannah and The Fudge?)

Pleasure is a state of gratification. It is a source of joy and delight. For each of us pleasure will look slightly different, based on our stories, dreams, desires and bodies.

Pleasure connects us to that place of joy, health, to feelings of abundance no matter what we materially may poses. Isn't the word pleasure just delicious to say? As you see the word before you, can you feel your body starting to relax with permission to feel good?

The pleasure factor in weight loss comes when you are ready to stop denying and over eating, when you are ready to move away from the belief that anything you read or hear will be the last thing you ever need to know. As we evolve in our lives, so will that which we must learn and incorporate. Those of us who have struggled with weight must look to sources of alignment to self, and those sources will change as we change.

Pleasure.

Close your eyes and connect for a moment with what brings you pleasure.

One of the topics we cover in my groups is if you had more energy and felt joyful in your body could you experience more pleasure? Could you have great sex with your partner because you were fully allowing the pleasure to lead the experience? Would you stop doing exercise that feels disconnected and start moving your body in ways that make you feel alive and satisfied?

Pleasure in food. Pleasure in our relationships. Pleasure in the small moments we might overlook.

I take pleasure in putting on a beautiful necklace. I find pleasure in making a batch of cookies with ingredients that feel good to my body. Pleasure finds me when I am connecting to my husband through our words and our touch, through our thoughtfulness. I am full of pleasure when my children laugh. Giving a compliment. Receiving a kind word. Eating foods that power my body (and these change). Seeing a dream become a reality.

This is not the last thing you'll need to read about weight loss or connecting to the body you have. Your journey to loving your body, your life is the right one. It is the one you are meant to be on. If you could sprinkle more pleasure into your life what would that look like to you?

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Is being on a gluten-free or dairy-free "diet" the same as restricting? I'll talk about that next...

Larabar Winner and A Little Inspiration For The Day

Congrats to Melanie J! I hopped over to her blog to tell her and was so touched to see her mention of Mama Space, on this post. I love the community of women that is part of the voice here.

Melanie won a bag of minis (I'm a little envious of this one) and a beautiful t-shirt from Larabar. Thanks Larabar, you all rock.

I told you Chloe would steal the shirt! She wears it well.

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This morning as I walked around my crazy messy house, crumbs everywhere, dishes piled up and piles of things waiting to be carried down to the basement my initial thought was how crabby this makes me. Typically waking up to a messy house combined with sick kids is a recipe for my disaster. I become monster mama.

Today as I was wading through the mess to get the kids ready for school, I realized that the mess did not control my mood. In fact my mood actually controlled the mess. I remembered that the mess was temporary and that it was part of my day to control it. I love when the house is clean and calm and by this evening I will get myself there, I will light candles and I will enjoy the beauty and spirit that comes to life when things are where they need to be and cleaned.

The mess will return. I have three kids, small house, lots of crumbs.

My mood and how I perceive the mess will always be mine. It will always be in my control.

Next time I feel out of control in my life, I hope to remember the mess.

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Any situations that need a shift of thought in your day today?

It's Chilly, Let's make Chili

Not a strength of mine, routine. I do love the feeling of knowing that Thursday is pasta night (or spaghetti squash). Yet, I can so easily stray from other routines that could help my world function just a bit better. It is easy to go off subject, to get lost in my head and allow something else to happen or avoid the routine. I used to have a voice inside that wasn't nice about it. That told me I should be more like this and that. That voice isn't nice, I prefer nice. So when I said, "let's make Sunday Chili night," I knew that this was not going to be an easy goal. There has been one Sunday (the night of the declaration) and one Sunday Chili. The little voice tried to pop up and let me know I was just setting myself up to fail, I thanked her and asked her to think about whether a Sunday without Chili would really go down as failure? She stopped talking.

Here is to all those little voices that we have power over. Here is to routine. Here is to breaking routine. Here is to Chili when it's Chilly.

Cilantro Turkey Chili

olive oil 1 small onion, diced 2 celery stalks, chopped 1 red pepper, diced 2 Tablespoons chili powder 2 Tablespoons cumin 1 Tablespoon Cacao Powder 1 tsp sea salt (you may need to add more at the end when you taste it) 1 1/2 pounds dark turkey meat (please no antibiotics in your meat) 1 24 oz jar strained tomato sauce 1 can Eden organic butter beans 1 can Eden organic pinto beans 1 bunch cilantro, washed well, chopped

optional - grated raw cheddar cheese, salsa, hot sauce

Bring out the magic soup pot and heat some olive oil. Add onion, celery and pepper and allow them to cook very gently for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add spices and salt, for about 5 minutes and the vegetables will turn a nice dark color. Move the veggies to one side of the pot and add the turkey to the other side. Allow to brown for a minute or two, gently stir into veggies. Add sauce and beans and half of the cilantro to the pot. Heat up to a nice low simmer. Cover and cook for about 1 1/2 hours.

Serve with fresh cilantro on top and other favorite chili toppings.

The Morning Container

There is a special red tin container that makes it's home on a shelf in the kitchen. It is the container that holds something quick to eat, usually in the morning, when appetites are high and energy is low. A hungry mama might find herself peeking in when she realizes it is 2:55pm and time to pick up the kids from school. She might have forgotten to eat while the baby was sleeping and she was working. From time to time a little girl, age 8, will sneak her favorite bar out of the container and put it away somewhere safe, so on chicken and roast vegetable night she has a back up plan. I'm a whole foods advocate. You know this. I prefer that we make at least 80% (or more) of our food ourselves. As someone living gluten-free it is tough to eat outside of the home. As a mama who wants her kids to understand the difference between healthy and junk, I get excited when I can fully support a product I believe in. Especially if it is something resembling what I am whipping up in the kitchen.

Recently I did a favorite things week and mentioned Larabars. I encourage my clients to keep one in their bag so that if they are out and the need for something quick hits, they won't go squealing into the drive-thru. And they are gluten-free.

Larabar would like to offer a giveaway on the blog with a really cool bag of mixed mini bars (about 50 bars in the bag). That would fill a morning container a few times over. The minis are only available in 3 flavors so this is a special treat for the winner as they will have lots of mini flavors arrive through the mail. Larabar also wants to add a t-shirt to the gift. I'm wearing mine now. It's a nice t-shirt. My daughter will steal it after it comes out of the wash and I will never wear it again. That girl loves Larabars, chocolate chip cookie dough is her favorite, if you were wondering.

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To enter today's giveaway from the fabulous Larabar, tell us what your favorite flavor is, or what flavor you would create. Comments will close Tuesday, January 4th and the winner will be announced on the 5th.

Eli Ate It

I know I've mentioned that my kids love mushrooms. On pizza, in pasta or with fish they couldn't be happier. I have never tried it in soup for them until now. The pickiest of the three, Eli, ate it. Which means that I must share it with you. I added the beans in after he had 3 bowls of it. He does not like beans, thanks. I made this soup for myself one day as I was feeling a cold start to creep in. Typically I fight a cold or a flu or a bug of any kind. I imagine myself fighting with the invaders and it's always a losing battle. So I have switched tactics. I am lovingly nurturing anything that threatens to attack. That one shift in perception has made a difference. Instead of attacking,  you lovingly melt away or love up the invaders, and they change their tune. When I would get sick I would be angry and crabby, when in attack mode that would make sense. With the shift into nurture, the mood is able to shift and calm.

The energy inside of us is shift-able. We are our creation each day, each moment. It is a choice. So to fight or nurture, our choice makes an energy shift.

This soup was one of the ways I decided to nurture. Full of garlic and ginger, healing chicken broth and mushrooms, it will take you out of attack mode.

Portabello and Ginger Soup

1 small onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 tsp grated ginger 5 portebello mushroom caps, black inside removed (you can use a spoon and scrape it out), and chopped 2 celery stalks, finely diced 1-2Tb wheat free tamari soy sauce juice of 1/2 lemon 8 cups chicken stock

optional 1 can Eden Organic butter beans, rinsed 1/2 cup chopped parsley

Saute the onion, garlic, ginger until soft. Add mushrooms, celery, soy, lemon and stock and simmer for about 45 minutes. Add beans and parsley before serving.

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Are you in attack mode when you start to feel sick?

What feelings come up for you when the blahs invade?

5,436 to 2,224

Now that is what action looks like. Though I will admit I thought about it a lot. I even spent quite a bit of time defending the 5,436 that kept growing and growing. I am now committed to zero.

Zero e-mails in my inbox. Yes, I have a bit of work to do before hitting the magical zero, labels to create so I don't lose things I need, google docs to copy passwords into and a calendar to actually set up and start using. All of this to get to zero. Zero in the inbox.

Those of you who would never dream of keeping 5,000 plus e-mails, may not understand the why of this habit. Those of you who have them, know the anxiety that keeping them and then deciding to delete/organize them can create.

I have a tendency to hold onto things. (That's what I thought at first.) It turns out that what actually happens is I don't create systems to work for me. Everything I do eventually becomes harder because I have to back track, search, remember. With systems in place things start to work themselves out. It's just like chicken night every Tuesday. It's a system for success and creating ritual.

It's a little Holiday gift to myself. Support.

I have been blessed to have technical and design support that speaks for itself on my site. I have a support system of colleagues and family. But I was in burnout.

I recently hired someone to do my billings and finances for my business. He also is going to help me with some more technical aspects of writing that I will be able to share with my clients, such as understanding fats, etc. The fact that he is my husband will allow us to feel a part of this business together.

I recently found the best babysitter, who not only loves Lucas, but also makes sure my house is clean when I come home. No, I am not giving you her number, sorry. I am doubling the time she stays with Lucas and his friend so that I don't burn out. (Great tip for babysitting, get another mom to share babysitting time with, split the cost and your child has a playmate while you are gone.)

With my systems in place I know exactly what I need to work on.

I am saying yes to anyone who offers to help me, even though my first instinct is to scream no! I'm fine. Because, it's not possible to do it all alone. I don't want to.

Those 2,224 little reminders show there is always a different way to approach something. There are more greens to eat, new ways to try moving your body and a kind word after a fight. Take some time today to look around for your reminders and thank them as you try a different approach.

Picture Thoughts

She couldn't fit in the box, so she found a way to fit in the picture. That's the kind of thinking that we all need to use.

"What are you making?" "A turnip gratin." "But those are radishes." "No, they are red turnips." "Are you sure, I am pretty sure they are radishes." I love that he cares enough to question them.

There is the fighting and the sibling stuff that feels all too familiar. And then this moment. Tucked inside the others.

My new favorite lunch is pea shoots, cucumbers, cashews and raw cheddar. With some olive oil and lemon. A cup of tea. Quiet.

I can't be the only one who chases around a hot cup of tea until it becomes cold. I always feel so happy when I find it.

Because everyone needs to love themselves up a bit more than they already are. Today in your gratitude be sure to include YOU.

To The Dads

I write with a voice for women. It was brought to my attention the other day that I have some loyal male readers. Mostly they are from my network of friends or colleagues who support my work. They appreciate what I write because they are part of the story that I write. Many of my readers are divorced. Some are in new relationships. Some of my readers are struggling in marriages and looking for answers, for what to do next. I have readers who aren't married or mothers, but really amazing women at a different place in their lives. I love the diversity of all of you. I am inspired by your stories and your dreams.

You are part of the story.

Our lives weave in and out of each others. When I write something that touches the heart of another woman, often the person she sees first is her husband walking through the door. When I get off of the phone from a session with 6 women the person that is there for them to feel excited or emotional with is a child or a partner. Or sometimes she enters the silence and stillness of a sleeping house.

I am fortunate to have some amazing men in my life. Who support and guide me along this path. Who are there when I need some calming or direction. Who have taught me everything I know about WordPress.

I have been together with my husband for 17 years, lived in 3 states with him and laughed and cried through the moments that have breathed life into our time together. I have been so crazy angry at him and felt such passionate love for him.

My grandfather is 90 years old and reads every word I write. He tries my recipes. He tells me stories of dandelion greens.

I listen to the women I work with talk about their fears with the men they love. I understand.

The role of the dad is one that I am only just starting to understand through the eyes of the men in my life. This male role that is challenging and rewarding in vastly different ways than mine as mother. Pressures so different than what I feel on a daily basis. Fears unlike those I may understand. I try to open my heart and listen to what they are saying so that I may help the women who I work with deepen their connections.

I know that when I am beaming with joy Patrick feels it. When we are disconnected it is a burden that the whole family feels.

So to the dads today I say thank you. Thank you for your heart, your devotion and your desire. Go deeper and live on the edge of your comfort zone because that is where the magic is.

When we are living in our health and joy and giddy happiness for life, we can share it with those we love. We can get honest and real. We can feel the connections we all have and how profound those are for our children. Choosing to be our best selves, whether mom or dad, this is where our power lives.

What I would ask of you today, woman or man, child or adult, is that you stop and really listen. And really talk. Ask each other about your fears and dreams. Talk. Turn off the t.v. Fill your buckets with each other. The power of stepping into someone's space as they are sharing a joy or a dream or a fear is special beyond words.

Hold that space together.

Magic Soup Pot...This One's For The Ladies

It’s a beautiful blue pot that makes the most magical soups. If I get a feeling or a thought for flavors that should combine the magic soup pot heats up and starts sauteing my veggies. The smells that come from the kitchen are spicy and warm and greet the people who walk through the door with surprise and wonder of what it could be. Rarely do I make the same thing twice in the magic soup pot, new creations turn up all the time. I had my final sessions with the student clients I mentor from IIN. I found myself feeling such joy and peace after talking with them yesterday. I also could feel this soup stirring inside and knew that it was for the ladies. My group was of 7 students who range in ages and circumstances, that eat varied diets and have lives of mother, business woman or student (sometimes all 3).

I asked some of them what the most joyful thing in their life was right now. Their answers beautiful and the energy at which they felt the joy filled me with gratitude for what I do. The last student of the night answered and then asked me what mine was.

Connect: To become joined or united: To establish a rapport or relationship; relate.

I am most joyful for the connections in my life right now. Connections with friends, to being present with my children, the long talks with my husband. The amazing gifts that come from the work I do. The women who I get to interview. The way I get to watch the kids write their daily gratitude on the calendars their grandmother made. To know that as I walk the path of connection each moment that comes before me is as I need it to be. Of connecting through vulnerability and truth. One of my students mentioned that I get very personal when I write. I do...to connect.

As we started out making our soup Lucas decided to wash dishes and I peeled and roasted the butternut squash. We had a lovely time in the kitchen. We  roasted pumpkin for some cookies and talked about pumpkin seeds. This time with him in the otherwise quiet house is connection. Is calming. Is love.

Eventually the soup came together just after he fell asleep and I enjoyed a bowl for my lunch. The magic soup pot did not disappoint. This one’s for the ladies.

Butternut Squash and Black Bean Soup

3 cups diced and roasted butternut squash** olive oil 1 large leek, washed and chopped 2 carrots, diced 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1/2 tsp chili powder 1/2 tsp cumin 1/4 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp sea salt 2 cans black beans 4 cups water

Saute the leek, carrot and garlic in olive oil until just tender. Add spices and stir cooking for about 2 minutes. Add beans and water, bring to a nice simmer and allow to cook for about 40 minutes. Add the roasted squash to the pot and gently combine.

Now here is where it gets fun. Squeeze some fresh lemon in each bowl, top with sliced olives, cilantro and a drizzle of goat’s milk yogurt. Now you’ve got some magic.

**Peel and dice the squash, removing the seeds. Place in a baking dish with olive oil, some sea salt and I used a sprinkle of cinnamon and thyme. Roast at 425 degrees for about 50 minutes or until tender and deep in color.

Enter The Green

I've been having a love affair with green stuff for a while. One thing I have noticed, which I'm sure no one else suffers from, is that when I'm a little down I prefer chocolate. It just sort of emotionally does it for me. Problem, I'm not dealing with what I'm feeling. I'm just eating chocolate and then not sleeping so well and having energy issues. And let's not forget, feeling even more depleted. When I'm feeling like I could conquer the world I can't get enough green. It fuels me, excites me and honestly gives me so much super energy. Especially that raw stuff. Over the past couple of years I've learned a few tricks to help get the green in, even when you aren't feeling like it. Green smoothies are awesome. I sometimes take kale, strawberries and lots of water and blend it into a whole juice. It's not very sweet but just enough to taste clean and smooth going down. Blended soups also help when you are needing some comfort in the way of green.

Thanksgiving is coming and I'm gearing up for the Holiday Connecting Group. Brussel sprouts and fennel are looking so beautiful in the store even my kids are noticing. I am creating a special flour-less chocolate cake just for my group so I need to balance it out with some serious green! There seems to be this pact around the Holidays that everyone will eat too much, feel like crap, spend too much money and then pretend that it all feels really good. I'm not playing that game this year and neither are the women in my group. We are going to rock out the authenticity, family love and ritual/traditions for our families. (Can you tell I'm excited about this one?)

Ok, first brussel sprouts. Never liked them. Now I love them, even cold the next day as part of my lunch. Here is what you do. You shred them into little thin pieces like you would cabbage and give them a quick, very quick saute and that is it.

Shredded Brussel Sprouts with Lemon and Garlic

3 cups shredded brussel sprouts ** 1 Tb olive oil or grapeseed oil 2 cloves of garlic, chopped sea salt to taste pepper to taste squeeze of fresh lemon juice

Saute the brussel sprouts in oil with the garlic quickly for about 2 minutes. They will turn bright green, then stop. Do not cook down to a mush of brown soggy shreds. Not good. Add salt, pepper and lemon to taste. Serve immediately or refrigerate and eat cold for lunch the next day topped with olives.

**Cut the brussel sprout in half. Lay the flat side down and cut across the sprout making little shreds. Cut down until you get to the core, compost the core.

Creamy Fennel Soup

1 large fennel bulb, quartered, cored and roughly chopped 3 small golden beets, washed, roughly chopped 1 onion, roughly chopped 1 apple, roughly chopped 2 cloves of garlic 1 cup parsley (optional) water, sea salt and lemon

In some nice olive oil saute the vegetables (except parsley) for about 5 minutes. Add water to just under the top of the vegetables, don't completely cover it. You can always add more water, but you can't take it out. Simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes. If you are going to turn your soup green, add parsley now, otherwise leave it out. Puree soup to a nice smooth texture and return to pot. Add sea salt to taste, and a nice squeeze of lemon. If you leave the parsley out your soup will look more like that pictured on the top of this page. I know it turns it a weird color so if you prefer you can add some chopped parsley to the soup after blending. My kids ate it up though, color and all.

Keeping Our Buckets Filled

How did a children's book and an event at the Donna Karen Urban Zen Center affect my life in the same weekend? Before I lead you to the answer I will tell you about Friday morning. I fell apart. We've been coming apart at the seams at home and I was exhausted. I could sleep and then wake up drained and not excited for the day. My bucket was dry (coming to that). Every drop of it was drained because I was not taking charge of filling it. When mamas bucket is empty the children's buckets drain and Patrick's bucket drains. That's pressure when your so down and lost, it's the most precious gift a woman can give when she fully owns it. I didn't have the right words to explain to them how I was feeling on Friday. I didn't know how to tell them that I couldn't hear them fight one more time or I might explode into a thousand pieces. I did know that it was my overstretched self that had brought us to this point. I was wearing every hat possible, that of mother, wife, coach, writer, woman, chef, transportation director, house cleaner, business owner, financial planner....on and on, and doing none of them well.

This story found it's way to me after my weekend was over. My aunt who helped fill my bucket this weekend had it tucked in my bag with two actual buckets to bring home for the kids. I read the story to them yesterday and realized just how empty I had been. In this story grandpa tells his grandson that everyone has an imaginary bucket, and when we fight or are mean it empties our bucket and that of the other person. When we are loving and kind, thoughtful for someone's feelings, our buckets start to fill up. In the book there are little buckets drawn over everyone's heads and you can see when the drips are coming in or out.

After I read the story to them I said choking back a few tears, "When mama left here on Friday her bucket was really empty. You know that, and I think all of our buckets were pretty empty. When I came home my bucket was so full I was dumping water on all of your heads, did you feel it? And your buckets after spending a weekend with just daddy and no mama or two year old brother seem pretty full. I want to try to do everything we can to keep our buckets full. Will you both think about what we can do to keep our buckets full?"

Here is how my bucket filled up. Spending the weekend with the most amazing woman, Marie Forleo. That is her in the picture in her very own video of Empire State of Mind. Just because she could and it was a.mazing. How many business events have you gone to with music videos playing, a D.J. and dancing at every break? Yeah, I thought so. --Insert visual of my bucket filling here.--

I have had a mentor crush on Marie for about a year now. I read everything she writes, try to follow all advise that she sends out and was dreaming of this event in New York. I entered a contest to win a ticket and was one of 13 winners invited to the event. Drip, drip into the bucket. Marie swears, she laughs, she even cries when she is moved by the moment. She is in her joy and that means living fully and presently. No bullshit, no excuses and no what if. She is elegant hip-hop, which if you have never seen that, is hot.

I left Friday with Lucas and deposited him for his own bucket filling weekend with my Aunt and Uncle in New York and headed to the city. I knew the moment that I stepped inside the doors of the most beautiful and zen space that I was going to change. Right there, in that moment, knew that the event would change me, if I stepped through the door into allowing. Allowing what I heard to meet no resistance. Allowing the wisdom and fun to never listen to excuses. Allowing the genius of the weekend to fill my bucket and go home with the power of being present. Allowing myself to have some fun.

Who's bucket can remain filled when they are always thinking about something else. I was crabby doing dishes because I was thinking about a blog post. On Mondays I was angry during dinner because I was in my head thinking about my group. When I was home I was always thinking about what I should be doing, the dirty toilet, the time that wasn't there and I think we call that multi-tasking burnout.

This weekend I weaned Lucas after two years (well, eight years total after the stretch of the three of them). I filled my bucket. I am planning a big event which I have been dreaming about for a long time. I am loving my husband up and looking at where he could find some bucket filling. I'm accepting any help that is offered or available. I'm having my babysitter watch Lucas for 8 hours instead of 4 this week. I am taking some chances. I am doing one thing at a time and doing it really well. Even if it's cleaning the toilet. I have not raised my voice, yelled or been frustrated once with the children, and that more than anything is why I believe that all of us must have support and guidance and love.

How does this translate into our lives as mothers?

If mamas bucket is full, everyone's bucket is full. You know this, our mama energy is so powerful that we can affect all that is around us. Start in the now. What are you looking at or nearby that you can see or hear, now? Allow it to come into your awareness fully. Don't think about the bills or the cleaning or the dishes. Be here now. When you do go wash the dishes today, be present with them. Feel the temperature of the water, notice the soap bubbles. When they are clean stop and notice how good that feels. Soak it up. Start with the dishes. One task.

Be there. It really is that simple, but it takes practice. Marie says that clarity does not come with thought, but with action.

Allow it today. Start with one action. And lots of play.

Giveaway Winners

Congrats to Nicole D. for winning Andrea's DVD and to Allison A. for winning her book. Thank you to everyone who wrote in and I'm so happy you were inspired by this amazing woman.

Apple Bread and Martinmas

November 11th is Martinmas. This celebration each year marks the start of the Holiday Season for me. We spend time together making lanterns, glass with tissue paper glued on, or on other more energetic years, we have done this. Celebrating this since Eli was too little for glue, it reminds me of lantern walks with friends who have since moved away, but will walking in the same evening's darkness with their lanterns, singing to their neighbors. We will walk and deliver little treats to some houses, the kids will sing songs and I will breathe in the rhythm and the marking of time to the lantern's glow. Times recently have left me feeling stretched as a parent, I think I even handed in resignation papers one morning recently. The fighting and the noises...and yet to balance that with the joy of celebration. Of making lanterns out of glass jars. To create a recipe and make it with the kids all taking turns putting in ingredients and grating apples without any finger ouches! Why ritual is so important to family, to mothers who sometimes feel. so. tired.

Even if you are just reading about Martinmas for the first time here, grab some little glass jars, tie a string around them and go lantern walking in the night. Bake a little treat for a neighbor. Call and sing a song to someone far away. Find rhythm in the light that we each hold inside of us. And be sure to tell this story first.

The Story of Martin and the Poor Man

By Cerdiwen Anya Coit

Long ago their lived a good young man named Martin. Even as a boy, he knew that one day he would be expected to serve in the military. His father was an important military officer. And, although he desired a peaceful life outside of the military, he knew that it would be his duty to follow the life of this father. So, Martin joined the military, became an officer and eventually was assigned to garrison duty in the town of Amiens.

One bitterly cold winter evening, the young Martin rode through the gates of Amiens on his fine, proud horse. He was dressed in the regalia of his military unit: gleaming armor, a bright helmet and a beautiful white cloak, lined with lambs wool. It was nearly freezing outside, but his thick cloak kept him warm. He was hardly aware of the cold. But then, as he approached the gates of the town, he saw a poor man, a beggar, dressed with clothes so ragged that he was practically bare. The man was shaking and blue with cold, but no one reached out to help him. People would pass through the gates, looking straight ahead, so their eyes would not meet with those of the poor, desperate man.

Martin, seeing this, was overcome with compassion. He rode straight to poor man and took off his white cloak. And with one stroke of his sword he tore the lovely mantle in two. He wrapped half of the cloak around the freezing man and the other half around his own shoulders.

The people nearby watched in amazement. To see a fine military officer do such a lowly thing was a ridiculous site to many, but others were touched by the goodness that Martin showed.

That night, as Martin slept, he had a dream. A man appear to him who looked so familiar, and he was wearing the half of the cloak Martin had given to the poor beggar. And then, Martin saw in the eyes of this man, the light of the Divine which we each carry within us.

From this day on, Martin's life was changed forever. He knew that he could no longer be part of the military, for his true desire was to live a life of goodness.

Apple Bread

This recipe is inspired by Elana who was inspired by this Apple Bread! And in our house if you put something in the oven without chocolate chips, the kids stop you! So chocolate chips met the top of our bread.

1 1/2 cups almond butter 2 eggs 1/3 cup agave 1 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp cinnamon 1 cup grated apple (this was two medium size apples for us)

In a bowl beat eggs with electric mixer until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the nut butter and agave and continue to blend. Add baking soda and cinnamon and blend until combined. Gently stir in the apple. Put in a greased (we use coconut oil) 13x9 baking pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 35-40 minutes or until center is done. If the top is browning before the inside is fully cooked, cover the top with a piece of parchment or foil. If your house is like mine, sprinkle chocolate chips on the top before baking!

Slice and serve as is or with a dollop of whipped cream. What a lovely breakfast this would make with some hard boiled eggs and a cup of tea. Ahhhh.

Emotionally Eating Cucumbers

Yes, I have stood in the kitchen and eaten an entire cucumber, not hungry at all. I was out of corn chips; those are even more fun to emotionally eat. Sure the cucumber was not going to harm my body in its purest sense of being a healthy and cleansing food. Yet, when food is going into our body it is taking on our emotions, our feelings.

If we eat while a baby is crying or people are fighting, our digestion and our cells feel that distress. That cucumber eaten while I am hungry and happy is going to please my body and allow it to fully utilize all the good stuff in it. It feels so good to actually eat when we are hungry, because we are satisfying our body. A healthy satisfaction!

There are times when I get so upset with the kids, and then at myself for my lack of patience and inability to redirect the chaos that I go marching right to the rice crackers. They crunch and when I'm mad at myself I like to crunch. I could stand there and eat a whole package if I didn't have to share with my kids! As I eat them I am stuffing down the feelings that have come up. Crunching the cucumber or the crackers, the point is it's not about the food. What am I feeling?

Where am I overwhelmed and how can I find another way? Sometimes the simplest way is just to stop. To let go. To sit down and breathe. To stop talking and stop the little voice in your head from talking. By just listening and being still.

I am trying to do this more often to substitute for the moments when yelling or rice crackers are the first options. It is amazing to be in the middle of fighting kids and just stop. And listen. And disconnect. And allow them to work it out. Remove the extra voice, the frustration. Instead of the crackers, to just sit and let it be.

Today I ate my lunch with chopsticks. A great trick to slow down and really notice your food. The kids love it too. And the plate is one of three thirifted plates I found for $.99. (More on this later, but we are committing as a family to spending much less and consuming less which means some great thrifting is taking place for the Holidays.)

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Healing Chickpeas and Marinated Green Beans

We've been a bit under the weather around here lately and I'm trying to add in lots of garlic and cinnamon (super healers)! This gentle meal does just that. I made the green beans the night before so they are nice and saturated with the marinade. The chickpeas are great hot out of the pan.

Healing Chickpeas

1 can organic chickpeas, rinsed and dried on towel 2 Tb olive oil or coconut oil 1/4 tsp each of dried basil, parsley, garlic powder, cinnamon and salt squeeze of lemon or dash of umeboshi vinegar

Heat oil and spices for a minute or two. Add chickpeas and saute until slightly crispy, about 10 minutes. Add a squeeze of lemon or dash of umeboshi and serve.

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Marinated Green Beans

2 handfuls or green beans, stem removed, and broken into 1-2 inch pieces 1Tb olive oil 1 Tb apple cider vinegar 1 garlic clove, finely chopped sea salt

Mix the oil, vinegar, garlic and salt together and dress the green beans. Store in fridge overnight and enjoy.

Raw Kale and Lots of Water

We are on Day 3 of the cleanse, and even if you aren't cleansing, I hope you will be inspired to look at your diet in new way, perhaps starting with just a little bit of raw kale. A few things have come up and I want to share with you some of what I wrote today to inspire the group.

Last night in the trick or treat madness- which always leaves me wondering if there isn't a better way to celebrate this holiday with my kids- I started thinking about balance. I'm not a big believer anymore of balance being a round perfectly balanced circle, but am starting to think of balance as what is important to us in any given moment or in the phase of life we are in.

For instance, with a young baby, our sleep isn't going to be great. We will be out of balance in that area, and yet it is a great time to discover how organic foods and lots of water can bring us extra energy when we need it. It is a chance to see how to fuel the body without caffeine and instead go for a walk and take a power nap. We also learn that we survive sleep deprivation (I know because I'm going on year 8)!

Today I would like you to think about a few things.

One is feeling centered (we'll use this instead of balance), where do you need to find something to bring more of into your life, or, to lesson in your life so that you have more space?

Two is raw food, how much of your food is raw? In this cold weather we want about 51% or more to be raw. Think of marinated raw kale (I'll blog a recipe for this in just a bit), think raw pickled foods, think raw apples and pears with some almond butter and sesame seeds for a snack.

Three is what does your body need? Do you feel it is missing something? Are you exhausted? More water, more vitamin C, more vitamin D, more hugs, more kisses, more talks with friends, more raw food, more back rubs (yes oh yes), more of what?

Someone mentioned eating as a reward. What else might substitute for this reward? What are ways we can say thank you to ourselves without over spending and over eating? If you feel like you are in one of my group programs right about now, well, you kind of are. This cleanse is a chance to really look deeper into yourself because you are stretching in new ways.

I believe in the power of food just as I believe in the power of love, moving through fear and positive thoughts. For me they go together, each moves us towards the next. So here's to raw kale and love!

Kale and Celery Salad

1 bunch of kale, run your hand along the stem and the leaves will come right off the stem. Chop the leaves into bite sized pieces.

Chop 3-4 stalks of celery. I used the hearts and yes, you can eat the leaves! Add them in too.

Make a simple dressing of 1/4 cup good olive oil (nice thick and cloudy olive oil) and the juice of 1 lemon. Add a pinch of sea salt. (The pear was Lucas' snack as I was chopping.)

Put it all together and gently rub the salad for a few minutes. Yes, put your hand in the salad bowl and rub it. It is fun and if the kids can get a clean hand, let them help. Allow the salad to sit for 2 hours and serve with raisins, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds and if you aren't cleansing- add a handful of grated romano cheese.

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Drink lots of water today and for added inspiration be sure to listen to part 1 of the Andrea Beaman Interview.