Now that we've bought the bread and toilet paper.

/
IMG_8187.PNG

After we buy the beans and toilet paper, what now?

Methods. Learning methods of cooking, of working, of supporting kids, of exercising. What was once I'll run to the store and grab it after seeing a new recipe posted or jumping in the car to go to the gym after the alarm goes offis replaced with, what now?

After our pantry is full of pasta and our kid home from school, what now?

meth·od
/ˈmeTHəd/

noun

  1. a particular form of procedure for accomplishing or approaching something, especially a systematic or established one.

  • orderliness of thought or behavior; systematic planning or action.

For the last decade (ish) I have been teaching simple behavior change through the lens of how we want to feel. I've named my work things like, The Joy Up, Spirits of Joy, Making Space, Magic Making, Great Big Fantastical Life, Reset Wildthing, Spiritstyle.

Every single thing I do is to offer a method of behavior change so that we can feel ourselves in our lives. Connected, expansive, open, rooted, lifted, fill in the blank.

When I learn or create a new idea or practice I try it out, establish a method, then if it works, I create a course around it. I don't ask that anyone follow my exact method, in fact, I prefer they don't. I offer mine so that they may adapt it into their own.

Right now the collective is being asked to step into a method of taking care of our future selves. It is quite a simple one.

Stay indoors with only your family unit. Leave only for essentials like food, medication and emergencies. Keep 6 feet away from others when out. Gather a two week supply of food and medicine to reduce visits out or in case of becoming sick. Most children switch to virtual classrooms.

This method has stripped established individual methods away. Exercise is no longer in a gym. School is no longer in a community building. Work is no longer at the office. Dinner is no longer in the restaurant.

We spent the first week with our five kids home dealing with the youngest one's tantrums, which we hadn't seen in over a year. Full on rage, blocking the door of his room with all his stuff so we couldn't open it, wishing people would die, talking about starving himself.

I felt myself falling into some self pity. Now I have to deal with this on top of everything else? 

I let myself linger there for a little while and then I sat down and made a list.

  • get dressed

  • eat breakfast

  • brush teeth

  • make bed

  • pick up toys

  • put dirty clothes in hamper

  • 15 minutes IXL

  • 15 minutes typing program

  • eat lunch

  • walk with family

  • tech time earned

I left the little piece of paper out for him the day after the tantrum. He still wasn't happy with me but he dutifully checked off each little task. I could feel his mood elevating. When he went to his room to clean up he lingered and played for almost an hour with his favorite toys. 

The next morning he woke up, came down and said, "I'm sorry." Then he picked up his list and began his day. We don't ever demand the kids say sorry, but it is his way of letting us know he is back.

Now he has an individual method inside the greater collective method. It will become his anchor for these days away from school. 

I'm noticing a lot of humans, regardless of age, feeling their anchors pulled from them gong into tantrums.

When my kids ask why people are hoarding toilet paper I remind them that fear likes to have a focus (an anchor if you will) and when people fear their basic safety is at risk (root chakra, I mean how much more root does it get then wiping ourselves after going to the bathroom) it may not make sense because it isn't a logical decision.

It is an anchor.

So we've been mailing some toilet paper of our own to some families without, who couldn't afford to stock up because they live week to week, day to day (follow this Instagram to help).

When our own personal supply starts to become less, I want them to feel safe, I remind them that the toilet paper is not our place of safety. I remind them of all the methods there are to replace toilet paper should we run out.

The toilet paper hoarding feels a little bit like a small child who was just told school is no longer an option, his friends are no longer an option and he needs to ask before taking snacks from the pantry.

We look for safety when we are scared. I am doing it, you are doing it, we all have our own ways of acting out.

We balanced our kid's tantrum by remaining calm and giving him space (I had a private melt down). Then we offered him a new method, which he can make his own.

After we buy the beans and the toilet paper, what now?

Methods. Anchors.

Here is the thing, this is what we are doing as a collective. So once the tantrums are over, we need to make our little bullet point lists on a scrap piece of paper and move into a practice that anchors.

Find our method. Offer ideas. Sink in. Reach out.

As I soak beans, simmer broth, make lists, watch Borderland after the kids go to bed, drink tea, manage the noise level of kids, pretend to read my stack of library books, fall back in love with my work by giving it space, take inventory of my fridge and make Instagram Stories: I am feeling myself in my life.

After the tantrum, the list...

  • Today I shall be...(who are you showing up as today? what will she wear?)

  • brush teeth (really because you know it will be 2:00pm when you remember)

  • make your tea (use the good honey)

  • prep the fried rice

  • newsletter (beans and toilet paper and noise, methods?)

  • think about kitchen stories

  • tell Dave about Tiger King

  • photos for new circle

  • check in with Chloe

  • move stack of library books you are pretending to read up to bedroom

  • email MGBFL about call Wednesday

  • mail remaining packages

  • baking projects for kids?

  • beans, tomatoes and tortillas

  • baskets of clothes

  • three questions

  • Simone's nomination form

  • 3/4 magic????

  • the sweet pear tree

  • remember that lentil recipe with the swiss cheese?

  • is there a tattoo in this

  • mushroom soup

My method. My magic.

Find yours. Sink in. Reach out. 

We are accomplishing something AND approaching something. We can order our behaviors to feel ourselves rooted in safety through beans or toilet paper AND through the methods we choose right now to care for our hearts and our homes and each other.