The parts of me people are afraid to catch.

“When you make a choice, you change the future.”

~ Deepak Chopra

At 41 I was divorced and at 43 sober. These are the two parts of myself that I fear others are afraid to catch. These are two parts of myself that quietly push others away who secretly know a similar something inside of them isn't quite right. These are the parts of myself that I am incredibly proud of and talk the least of.

When I separated I lost a lot of people in my community and I also received more letters than ever from women who were in pain in their marriages and seeking my council or just telling me that I gave them the bravery to look at their next steps.

As I began the work of magic making I found the feeling inside of my dreams (work we will do together) and the feeling was freedom. It has taken me a decade of chaos and burning things down and walking through surrender to finally settle into the feeling that last presented itself, safety.

I didn't want to get divorced. I loved being married and I loved (still do) my husband. He is among my best friends. And, to be free, I had to go. For him to be better, for me to be better, for my kids to be better, I had to go.

At that time my friend and teacher Pixie was walking through divorce before me. I caught it from her. I caught her bravery, her boldness, her kindness, her guidance. I often wonder had she not walked the path first, where I would be.

I read one sobriety book, Nothing Good Can Come of This, Kristi Coulter. I think I bought it in an airport and read it while drinking on a plane. Something in me stirred, and I caught sobriety. I caught the truth of my story with alcohol from her story, I caught integrity, I caught alignment with Spirit. I caught my tears and I caught my prayers.

Since, many people in my community have caught sobriety in some form from me. Not because of me being sober, because of the truth that woke up inside of them, echoed in my experience.

Yes, we catch change from others. We catch it when something deep inside of us that we refuse to listen to comes awake.

When truth stirs our integrity into alignment, it is a beastly roar.

I am a mother, a wild woman, a wisdom seeker, a healer, a lover. I am divorced and I am sober. I am a cluster of archetypes that weave my spirit and tell my story.

I am endlessly curious. I am home in the kitchen and dirt.

I am a magic maker.

On this eve of magic making, I invite you to think on your parts. The ones others may be afraid of catching, the one you may have forgotten, the ones that bring you peace, the ones that invite you into the shadows, the ones that are no more but grew you here.

On this eve, charged by the New Moon, spirit of Crone, archetype of Sage, energy of Winter, remember. Remember who you are.

Then, we will choose and become. My prayer is that you will catch the magic and the cycle of change will begin again.

xo H