Big Bowls of Pasta to Make Magic

“There are some things, after all, that Sally Owens knows for certain: Always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Add pepper to your mashed potatoes. Plant roses and lavender, for luck. Fall in love whenever you can.” 

― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

I remember sitting in a huge theatre with thousands of other students thinking,there has to be a better way. The way we were being told to sell, to market, to brand and to quite honestly harass and shame people made my stomach turn.

I'm grateful to have become a Health Coach because it changed my life. I'm also grateful to be an enneagram four who refuses to blend into the crowd. My entire being centers around being unique, surrounding myself with beauty, and details. All the details.

When I came up with the idea for the Magic Making Circle it felt special. Bits and pieces of an idea, centered around a circle of women who would gather at the end of the time together to be in person. After a few iterations of the circle, I felt blessed to be part of it, to have allowed it to somehow download into me so we could all become and learn together.

One day it didn't feel special anymore. There were a lot of courses out there. I saw my own 'formula' mimicked by others which feels like my cue to ditch and run and what had felt like a beautiful dream come to life now felt somewhat bland and blah. (This is the rough edge of the enneagram four.)

I let it go. Released it. Moved on. I started my shop. Did lots of other things.

And in that time I have gathered evidence of myself. Evidence that had me looking at shame and loss and codependency and anxiety and healing inside of my past and my now. I couldn't imagine dreaming again because I was exhausted.

I got sober. I got therapy. I got real. I cleaned my corners and stopped hiding my shit in drawers. (Well, almost, I have some drawers left.)

The only dream I could find was to get comfortable with being safe. To stop blowing up my life and just let it be safe.

So. I have.

When I have taught business I've asked people to define success for themselves, not use another person's version because if it doesn't resonate with you it won't work.

Initially success for me was getting free. Then it became safety. Now it is changing again and it is a humble earthly thing; like food growing in the dirt and giggling kids and deep connection and honestly,less.If it were a smell it would be the forest floor after a light rain in the moment the sun just first peeks out.

Magic is like success, it can't be someone else's. Trying to fit our dreams and iterations into a box designed by someone with lovely semantics won't bring us joy. Magic is served up from our own deep knowing and trust.

As my definition of success has changed, magic is changing for me too. Being on the other side of 45 is wild and I can say this; I have no desire to hustle for success.

Like the earthly things I crave to ground me and how I desire less, I also want to bring my work to you in a gentler way. And I am giving myself permission to return to something that brought me to my freedom, that led me to every dream I now stand inside of.

I'm spending this next week immersed in untangling the old Magic Making Circle so that I can rearrange the pieces and make things fit for who we are now. I am sure I'll have some battles over wanting it to become somethingso unique and special (play dramatic music here).

I'll make big bowls of pasta and calm myself down a few times.

Then at some point, as usually happens, when I release my expectations, I open to hearing what comes from a source outside of myself. There is a greater knowing that can be heard when we get still. And quiet. And unattach.

I long for that.

Then. I'll offer it to all of you, sort of like a freshly baked pie with creamy vanilla ice cream served outside as the leaves fall around us.

Between now and then if you could sit with the idea of magic, just be with it in wonder and curiosity as I will be too. In those thoughts, mine and yours, dreams will be born and feathers will fall and synchronicities will appear.

That is where we begin...

Once upon a time as dreams are born and feathers fall where there never were birds, magic rooted in and the earth smelled of possibility and desire.

Let's be gentle, sink our bare feet into the earth and know ourselves just a tiny bit more.

Sending love,

xo H