Truth in my business.

Almost two years ago an idea came to me when a woman I adore commented on one of my Instagram photos saying something to the effect of, "You should run a course on your soul-style. I would sign up!"

At the time I was running my business course and I had sent out an On The Eve prompt asking people to make a list of the different parts of themselves and then to find a feeling for each part. Once the feelings were found, the prompt was to try her on, find the part that we most wanted to feel and dress her up. Show up as her.

That prompt felt like it's own course. I realized that this was Spiritstyle. And so it became.

.......

I decided to use Spiritstyle as a list builder. This is what we call something that we can give away for free in exchange for the precious gift of someone's email on our newsletter list.

I had over 500 women sign up. List building with a free program on social media was a breeze back then. Algorithms hadn't changed to what they are now. We didn't have to pay to sponsor posts so that they would be seen. 

It was this beautiful, loving energy of people sharing the work and my posts being seen by about 4,000 plus people without paying for it.

My newsletter has always been my most precious and beloved part of my work. This is where the names of the people who trust me to hold space in their inboxes, the names of people who choose to have my words fall into the intimacy of emails, are kept in my sacred space.

In business I will tell people that every single social media we rely on could go away at any time, build your list. Nurture your list. Love up your list. Don't take your list for granted.

And.

I built my business on social media. No one knew who I was 9 years ago. I used social media to meet other amazing people doing gorgeous work. I connected. I gave. I shared. I found this little home in the safety of my social media living room.

It is no longer that simple. There are now sponsored posts, sponsored groups, Facebook lives, Instagram lives, sponsored posts on Pinterest, paid promotions, audience filters, algorithms, confusion.

And it is OK. Of course it changed. It will again.

So when things change I have to ask myself what do I feel aligned to? What still feels good. Am I willing to give up FB as part of building my business? Can I use Instagram to build true connection with others? Are we so overwhelmed with social media and email that there is a better way?

I'm not offering great answers, just using the questions to sit inside of as I am redesigning the way I work, create and hold space.

.......

This round of Spiritstlye I have under 300 women who have joined. I have worked harder for those 300 names than I did two years ago for 500.

This is data. Important data. 

This data sends me back to the questions.

.......

After about two years of a personal/business growth hibernation, it feels safe to be seen again. It feels safe to grow. To bring new women into circle.

As I prepare to bring life to something new that has been asking to be born into my work, I am ready to be seen. To grow. To invite new women in, to ask them if they will allow me to show them the magic of how we circle, how we work, how we thrive in our iterations of time.

I will tell you a truth, I've been scared.

Shitless.

I've maintained my business to support myself and my family and to feed my spirit.

But I have been scared.

Of getting back to the momentum I had when parts of my life blew up.

Of getting back to a place where I'm seen as a teacher of life when I felt I had done so much wrong.

.......

I'm not sure what changed. I imagine simply time.

Simply time. (And therapy and tears and love and traveling and exploring and leaving homes and healing wounds of child-self and leaning into blessings and hiding.)

I have been doing one-on-one coaching inside of my business group through Facebook Lives. For those who don't know what this is, I start a live video feed, and we coach live! Anyone who is in the business group can watch us live and leave comments as we coach and react by sending up hearts or smiles. 

The hearts. I can't explain to you how magical those hearts floating up are.

I was sure I was done with one-on-one coaching. A voice kept telling me I needed to do the coaching this way. I didn't want to.

I did it anyway. 11 women signed up. I only had 9 spots open.

Those last two, how could I say no to those last two?

These sessions have cracked me open. These women and how they show up and what we talk about and how the women watching send up hearts and words of encouragement or questions and how it all comes together into this crazy explosion of possibility and lifting up.

I'm hooked on the energy they give me, each other.

This is something I am able to do on social media. So we can all have a gathering place. So I say thank you to this platform, even if I can't list build like I used to, even if I am so torn about how to move forward with integrity.

I say thank you because a form of magic that I know I can bring to life in person is now possible for women who live anywhere. This week alone we had women in Norway and England and the West Coast.

We all sat together in my virtual living room and lifted up.

.......

Two years ago it was easier. To be seen. In all the ways.

Then it got more complicated. 

I study the changes. I ask the questions. I find me inside of it all.

I decided the other day to do something that I don't do. Ask.

Ask for support in spreading the word. Ask for the women who circle to share the work if that feels good to them.

It was an edge. I did it anyway. I asked for help spreading my offering.

More than a Facebook algorithm it is these women, it is you, it is those of you who send me back words of love and encouragement each time I send a letter, each time I run a circle.

It is you who lift me up, help me find my bravery in being seen, once more, after time has worn away the wounds that paralyzed.

.......

It is you who I send a thousand little red hearts floating up to the sky to, so you can feel how vital you are to a list built on an idea that turned into another idea that led to another idea that created the most magical groups of women I've ever witnessed.

xo