A Holiday Joy Up Gift of Days.

December 19, 2014

bellsdeer

treeloft

deerbottles1

hananhtree

I always smell joy and the excitement in the air, see it in the lights that start to sparkle and taste it in the homemade applesauce simmering away on the stove. I also can feel the stress and sadnesses lingering inside of people’s energies during Holiday times. These five days together are about focusing on special moments and making memories. Taking the stress and pressures and flipping them into gratitude, love and joy!

The magic of the twinkles ::

This is a gift of 5 days of love notes and prompts and ideas to support you in a crazy time of year. You can save them or open them daily. We will come together in community over on Instagram and share pictures and thoughts and connection. #theholidayjoyup

Here is my love note to you ::

  • I believe you are amazing
  • I believe in you connecting to the special
  • I believe in the magic of all you are
  • I believe in you

A gift of days ::

  • From December 23-27th one email each morning
  • Simple words and prompts (and even a pie recipe)
  • Magic, joy, twinkles
  • A grounding, tethering, anchoring during a time when we give and are expected of so much
  • Joy because the simple is our ritual and our thoughts change everything

“Hannah has changed the way I breathe.” ~ Maria

“Thank you for giving us your all, it allows us to do the same for ourselves.” ~ Izabela

“I didn’t even realize how far away I had traveled from my passions and joy until Hannah entered my life. What did I do without her?”~ Joanie

“The work you do is magical and impacts so much on the lives of the women that take part… including me.” ~ Amy

“I value your words so much, they always speak to my heart. Thank you, I get so tired of reading other people’s words all the time but yours are always special.” ~ Jackie

“To feel that connection that exists between all of us, everywhere, is so refreshing and joyful.” – Emily

“This time has been wonderful. I met Joy like an old friend coming back into my life. I am really enjoying the visit and hope that she stays.” – Laura

“This has been the most precious of days ♥ !” – Stacy

“Thank you for these days, they will ripple into many more days to come.” – Jenn

“Focusing on joy has allowed me to encourage and old friend and totally change the way I think about situations. I’m usually negative but these past days I have learned to speak the truth in my head out loud instead of letting the negative situations take over. It has been really amazing.” – Rachel

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When :: January 4th Full Moon, for 30 days of daily morning prompts in your email, around visioning and writing inside of our books

Why :: As we start to make what become vision books, powerful shifts start to happen. Parts of our lives that have been stuck, stopped, lost, come alive as we find new places in ourselves that have been longing to come out. These prompts not only become part of our books, but our daily thoughts, and allow our writing practices and businesses and love lives and mothering to expand and gain depth.

How much :: $49.00 for 30 days of prompts and a private Facebook group where we will come together to share each day’s soulwork

Add to Cart

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One night I was on the beach feeling my wildish self. I looked up and I saw the sky filled with more stars than I knew existed. I felt a shift inside of me that came from a year of vision work around happiness and peace in my spirit. The shift was that I could choose to be unstoppably happy. I was aware in my wildish moment, filled with this download, that the choice of this happiness which I had been glueing into my vision books would not look anything like I was trying to force it too.

I knew that choosing my unstoppable happy that night under the stars would mean that living inside of joy would bring all the feelings, and that it was time to dream again.

My dreams come inside of vision pages, the words I write when I can’t not and under the stars where the Universe kisses my tears and swirls her knowing in my belly.

I vision to find surprises wrapped into colors and phrases and deep wantings.

I vision because I deserve all of it.

I vision when nothing is making sense and I need to find my guides.

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What I will ask of you for these 30 days ::

Make space to be here. Know yourself under the stars. Use these prompts to spend time with yourself. To light up in a new way. To discover a you that may have hidden out, buried by the stresses of daily living and lost dreams.

Create magical pages filled with words and visions and feelings that surround them. As you do this, you harness the vibrations of the Universe. You vibrate in a new way. These books become a way for you to align what you want with what you have. They create manifesting magic in your life.

spirit guide

Prompts each day that will invite you to play, explore, have fun, go deep into your spirits, fly inside of magic and create books that are so beautiful you’ll want to carry them everywhere.

  • Color stories
  • ‘I am’ which is the prompt that will become a ritual of change and acceptance
  • Beautiful dreams
  • Wantings
  • Desires
  • Awakenings
  • Words of spirit
  • Writing prompts (this is new!)
  • Inspired action prompts (yep, this is new too)
  • Healing
  • Joy
  • 30 days of prompts sent to you through your email, filled with story, photos and some videos of me chatting away and answering your questions weekly

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Through ritualized vision work we can allow each day to guide us towards living joyously, even (especially) when things are hard or challenges arise.

What will you need ::

A blank journal, I love Moleskine XL Cahier, but anything you love works beautifully. Some magazines. Ask people to start saving them for you. Go to hair salons and offices and ask for their old magazines. Check out libraries for magazine sales. A glue stick. Scissors. Some space and time.

(Bangs optional.)

 

will bangs change my life

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Prayer for a nervous system.

December 7, 2014

hannah sadness

I got hit with a surprising amount of sadness. Apparently I still want to control when it comes, or fill myself with so many distractions that I have no time for it. Truly I prefer these distractions to the feelings that are so much my nervous system feels like it is shutting down.

All I know to do is go back into my rhythm, my practices of ritual. My prayer.

I wash the dishes. I set the coffee pot. I pour a glass of water and fight myself to drink it.

I get my camera and go in front of the bronze mirror that has become my daily window into photo sessions of a frazzled, worn, confused body.

It is where I am able to allow myself to see the reality of sadness through a lens of compassion. If only for a moment.

My nervous system is holding time with fear and a rise of cellular restructuring so deep inside I can’t yet access it.

It feels wrong somehow when it is all so damn hard and so amazing all at once.

Questions of how am I fucking up mix with celebratory decorating of space.

If I live in the gray and the white space who am I?

I want to live inside a glass of water and not make another decision about how I am feeling or who I am hurting or who isn’t adoring or who I am too much for or what it all is leading to or how to do that next thing that wants to be born or if it was stupid to put on red lipstick today of all days.

The beauty in my life in my nervous system in my heart is beyond waking into dreams and visions that I knew how to ask for.

And yet the sadness. It pulls itself up and feels like a million stars exploding from my eyes down to my vagina. It feels like pleasure and ache and longing.

The reminder that the laundry is ready to switch to the dryer as the timer goes off and the little feet go running down the hall to be the first one there, quarters tight in their hands.

The wine glass with the stain of my lips lingering as I stir the soup pot.

I sit before the bronze mirror that welcomes me back in ritual of seeing and being seen.

One more time. One more look. One more feel.

(From my Thursday morning love notes, Making Space.)

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I am asked a couple of questions in considerable frequency around contributing to projects for others and then how to ask others to contribute to projects in a non-yucky way.

When I received Amy Palko’s ask for support around her Revolutionary Lips Blog Tour, it was the most beautiful example of an ask from another woman that I wanted to use it as a teaching moment to help answer that question.

“When I sat down to come up with a list of people who would be my dream hosts for this tour, your name sang out loud and clear! You see, I’m looking for fiercely compassionate, deeply inspiring truthspillers – individuals who lead from their heart, who dance wildly with their shadows, and who exquisitely embody what it means to be fully themselves in this moment and in the next.  So, naturally, I want to extend this invitation to you.”

I thought immediately, I dance wildly with my shadows! And I adore Amy and the connection we have through social media. She is my people.

Then I read the poetry. Here is a tiny excerpt…

I feel
I hear
I touch
you.
I lick my lips
with curious tongue
and taste
me.
I separate myself
from you
and go my own way…

amy palko

That is my language. It is a language that many women have been afraid of, to hear, to speak, to moan.

I felt like Amy wrote those words just for me but I know that the collective of women rising and cheering and owning and claiming is part of that me.

When do we want to use our time and space to support other women in their rising?

When we have a connection, when it is filled with love, when the work they are doing makes our own work sing louder.

When the work they are doing makes our own work sing louder. We lift together. We rise.

The Revolution will start with a sigh.

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tday1

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Today is my first Thanksgiving inside of my separation from the man I spent the last 21 years with.

My heart wanted me to run away. To have him take the kids and let me be with just myself.

We decided it was important for us to be together. To still have our family structure which has been my rock for so long intact.

But I couldn’t eat turkey or gravy or pumpkin pie. Thanksgiving cooking would be stressful enough but I don’t want those flavors to hold memories for my kids of their first Thanksgiving in this newness.

Our favorite food together as a family is Thai food. So I got the intuitive hit to ask my daughter if that would be ok. She was thrilled, she told me she silently squeeled with delight. And my daughter doesn’t squeel!

So I picked up the Thai food and put it in the fridge to be heated up later today. I will get ice cream or something yummy for after. We will all watch a movie together. My son still wants mashed potatoes. Fair enough.

We will find our way. I imagine I will cry. It’s a daily practice for me now. I am learning to let the tears flow without judging them.

And my gratitude will be for this beautiful family that has allowed me to step inside of my truth and desires and needs while standing in theirs. It is a blessing that will be felt every time I eat Pad Thai.

tday2wine and buddha

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Why I deleted your comment.

November 26, 2014

I wake up to a friend talking about her Facebook blog link being reported and removed. It was a gorgeous black and white self portrait of her naked body in the shadows. The photo is incredibly gorgeous and could hang in an art gallery or The Dean Hotel.

My friend posts a photo of herself on Instagram nursing her baby and she is left comments that no one would ever say to her face, including asking her why she has an angry face just because she wasn’t smiling.

I check my Facebook notifications and someone has left a comment on the photo below that was taken for Sexy and Sanguine asking who else found it ‘weird.’

hannah on beach laying night skynamed

I deleted the comment from the thread. Here is why.

Social media is my living room of sorts. I create it. I decorate it. I decide who walks into it. I pour the wine and put out the cheese and crackers. I invite. I lure. I draw you forth.

When you walk into my living room and are rude I will show you the door. You may leave. It is that simple.

I am not on social media for the purpose of arguing or being insulted. I will not tolerate women bringing other women down. You may have your opinion. You may talk about me behind my back. You may unfriend me or choose not to spend time in my space if you are uncomfortable or just don’t need what I put into that space. But you may not be rude to me or anyone in the gorgeous tribe of women I have gathering in my social media living room.

I have blocked people. Unfriended people. It is not a discussion. It is my right.

It is so rare that someone leaves negativity in my virtual space, but when they do it is removed. Fast.

Social media must be safe. My number one job inside of these spaces is to keep them safe for me and those who choose to be with me in virtual space.

I love to trigger. I love to push edges. I am careful about what I post so my photos don’t get reported while still walking a line that feels good to me.

I take a lot of pictures of myself. It is a vital piece of my work. I teach women to see themselves through their lens with eyes of compassion and to find themselves each day in the space they are in. I teach sexuality as a practice of self. I teach sensuality as a practice of self. I teach self adoration and allowing others to adore you. I am my subject. Not everyone will want to follow my Instagram feed and see a lot of me. The beauty is they don’t have to. Only those who find the message and the sensuality and the prompts I put out inspiring or supportive need stay in my virtual space.

When I step into the vulnerability of posting a photo laying down in the sand with my hands over my breasts staring out at the ocean, paired with words that may be cryptic but hold a huge space in my heart, I may seem weird. Or it may make you uncomfortable to see someone who is a mother and business women live inside of that much freedom around her body.

You don’t have to look. You don’t have to follow me on social media. Those who do have formed an amazingly warm, loving, lift-you-up circle. Many of the women in my social media circles go on to take my programs and then become friends with one another. I love watching it. I love the shifts. I love the squirm of newness. I love the support.

I do not love or welcome or allow negativity.

I create my life, my business, my happiness. I make it my work each day to be inside of happiness.

My suggestion to my friend who had negativity left on her Instagram account was to delete the comment, not play into it, not discuss it.

I will make sure to post my friend’s blog post so it gets as much exposure as possible.

And I will continue to delete negativity from my virtual world. Because it is my living room. And making space beautiful and welcoming and loving is my joy, my heart-song.

 

 

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Sexy and Sanguine women want.

November 21, 2014

black and white diana app

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

~ Rumi

I want to be settled being with myself, allowing loneliness to be a part of my experience of knowing who I am.

I want to fall onto a bed full of the softest pillows and giggle with pleasure, allowing my teeth to show when I smile big.

I want to look you in the eyes without pulling my gaze away, letting my reactions and face be true, and be there as listener, giver, lover, sexy woman piercing you through.

I want rogue ecstasy, story of fantasy and the most beautiful spaces.

I want to feel touch when I feel wrong in my skin, touch in places where I melt. Lower back, feet, scalp, neck…

I want to dance when you play the music of your heart, my fears for no rhythm passing through because your music is my understanding.

I want to open in embrace, false beliefs fading as I guide you in. I want you here.

I want to truly know me, from belly to toes to neck to strength to yearning to sad bits to sanguine moments.

I want to surrender to my fear of having, there may be judgement but I will pray, feel and want.

I want to fly off the cliff into the gentle water, I will never be too high to glide down.

I want to dance and open like the soul dances and opens, the past and future stories written in my today.

I want to be here now, with you, all of you, feeling my female pulse.

I want for you the openess of what stimulates you and the dance of confidence, the sexy woman opening her eyes each morning, painting her beauty by numbers.

There is no wrong. But there is wanting. And you sweet one, you may want and want and want…

(And excerpt from Day 1 of Sexy and Sanguine. Join us here.)

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Holiday Visions with The Utopian Collection’s scrumptious holiday collection.

December 4th from 7:30pm – 10:00pm

To join and for directions please email me at hello@hannahmarcotti.com

 

chelsae buddha

The Utopian Collection is an Eco-friendly line of handbags, accessories, and home art with intentions of infusing art and beauty into your life created and run by one of my dearest friends Chelsae Biggs. Chelsae and I believe in beauty and handmade and unique and joy and wild visioning. Join us for a night of creating holiday vision mobiles while having a chance to do some Holiday gift shopping with one of a kind treasures.

The Loft will be glowing with twinkles and smelling of cinnamon as we gather together to laugh and make and feel the joy.

Collect one of a kind gifts, enjoy delicious snacks, and cozy up in The Loft opening yourself up to set an intention for the holiday season.

chelsae canoe

All guests will be eligible to win a Utopian gift basket full of self care necessities and Utopian goodies.

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I am spirit guide.

November 19, 2014

green mirror bwblurred

I am spirit guide of desirous longing.

I am my name when you speak it as taste, as pleasure.

I am the one that stands in mirrors naked, swollen, wanting.

I am a break down of control over everything.

I am sex I have known for lifetimes, I see it in eyes, in smiles.

I am release in the tease, the touch.

I am flesh that wants you to hold it and heal it and see it.

I am falling into a soul-grinding worship of self.

I am black and white filters and poetry with words that make you blush.

I am spirit guide of you absorbing into yourself, in adoration that makes your heart wild.

I am connected because I ask it of you inside of my sex, what I need to stay inside my own breath.

blue mirror grange bw

…….

During Sexy and Sanguine we will play with some found word, sexy poetry using the I am prompt. We will pair the words with photos that we will be taking ourselves and learning to filter and crop for dramatic effect.

During Sexy and Sanguine we will push some edges while staying beautifully safe.

During Sexy and Sanguine we will discover a self adoration that will continue to guide us, as we become spirit guides of our own desirous longings.

We start November 24th, a gentle daily prompt for 4 weeks.

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She walks with eyes open.

November 7, 2014

hannahheadbackmirror

You may adore me once I’ve learned to adore myself. Or we will practice together.

I will practice. Eyes open. Holding your gaze. I never look away first.

And you may adore me for those 3 or 5 or 2 seconds.

As you find your adoration for my eyes I will soak it inside, promise myself I deserve this moment. This gift.

I hold my gaze. In the mirror, for my camera. I pause. I find the adoration on the days when I mostly can’t breathe, when it is so hard.

Those are the days that my longings are more intense than will find name.

Those are the days I remind myself that my beauty is only growing as my age ticks with the clock.

The young girl who still lingers inside my soul is in awe of the woman now holding her. She was so scared of her own sex. Scent. Heart.

I will walk with eyes open so you may adore me.

When you do I promise to hold you in the gratitude of a goddess, your energy meeting mine. For those seconds that feel like eternity and fear and wildchild.

I will drip wet with my sanguine. And then fade to black and white, orgasm without touch.

I learn to let go and still hold on and let go some more.

And look in your eyes and my own.

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Sexy and Sanguine Returns.

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