Nurturing visions. Merging iterations. Seeking rogue ecstasy.
I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a decaf coffee but bummed I can't find my favorite mug, kind of forgot breakfast and just realized I'm starving, know this morning why I can only have one margarita --not two even if they are tiny, oy-oy-oy kind of mama.
These are my pay-it-forward lists. This one is bursting.
Venus marks the sun. We sat at the table tonight eating our bowls of rice noodles, broth, chicken and kale while listening to the scientists talk in amazed joy.
The energy or events of 2004 are coming to a complete cycle. What was beginning in your world in 2004?
I was pregnant with the baby that would be born in a car. Fast and furiously. I will say that it was terrifying, hearing my own screams echo in my head. I didn't feel the terror of it again for many months. Once it hit I was inside of PTSD for a rocky stretch of time that eventually led me to take zoloft to ease the pains. I eventually would spend 4 months numbed on an extremely high dose but the waking dreams went away. The waking dreams were the worst.
We walked through the house that would become ours in 2004. A tiny bungalow that needed lots of loving. We saw it as a rare opportunity to buy a house for $200,000 that was actually liveable. Most we had seen had holes in the floors or owners who didn't care about removing their enormous snake tanks from the rooms as you viewed them. It was a seller's market and we were amazed that anyone would even give us a loan.
Pretty sure you all know how that story goes. Our house is now valued for about $120,000 despite the time spent making it much more lovely and our family has grown from 3 to 5 and a dog since.
900 square feet has been my tiny dwelling with these munchkins, and I am proud for how we have made it work. I still dream about renovating the upstairs, the part of the house that called me to it when we first climbed those stairs 8ish years ago.
I am feeling Venus-y. Those completions of energy and experiences that I felt bound to are the birth of Eli and the belief that we would live in this house for 5 years, sell at a profit and move on.
The last few days Patrick and I have been fighting about the house. Silly fights. I'm dreaming and he's being realistic and doesn't that always drive both of us a bit wonky. I've had so many moments of wondering if I wouldn't just be a better mother back on the medication.
***
A client of mine said that when asked about her business (which is starting to ignite) from a friend, she shyly replied that it was doing OK. She didn't say that she couldn't believe herself how amazing things were starting to become. She didn't say that she was becoming aware of just how beautiful creating a soulful, heart-centered biz was. She didn't say that she was about to raise her rates, a lot, because of demand.
She didn't say those things because it feels to a sensitive soul so strange to talk about ourselves in that way. It makes us worry we are bragging or that as soon as we admit how great things are, they will swing the opposite way, and we'll start to fail. I can imagine her in one year, and what I see is a soft edge to her confidence.
What if --when asked how our business is doing, we said, "There is an intense joy that designing your own beautiful work can bring. That is where I'm headed." Even if we are struggling. Even if we haven't yet made a dime.
Because if that can be true, if that intense joy in designing our own beautiful work can be true NOW, we can step into that confidence.
No one can give confidence to you. Living with confidence can be modeled and tools can be shared. The rest is up to you.
That is part of the work, not just creating and marketing, but confidence manifesting. It isn't that someone has a shinier website or more design knowledge, it is that they are cultivating their confidence, they are tending it softly, with truth. They take what you call risk, what they call a must-do.
A soft edge to confidence is pretty damn sexy.
In that dream I see how in this coming year I've settled into my new skin and this retreat into myself I've been on for a year has brought me such truth and joy.
I own my confidence, its softness is my glider.
I see in this dream where that has allowed me to go, and yes it is joyful.
***
Close your eyes. It is one year later. What do you see...
When things are turned upside down and my insides are confused, knotted, these feet seek out the sand. The grains of time that set my body clock ticking again. A sanctuary that means no fighting kids, no internet, no decisions. Picnic packed and sun hat blowing in the breeze. The roughness of my edges softened, if only for these few moments.
And the beauty.
Rocks stuffed in our pockets, sand dripping from our toes. The prayer of the ocean. Remembering for a moment... almost feeling the butterflies of the first time we kissed.
Under the sheet. The wait. The reason I miss most appointments and am kicked out of practices. Sitting there, half naked waiting for another person to walk in fully clothed and talk to you as though this is normal. My feet go numb. I twist them and lift them until the blood moves again, matching the blood pounding in my heart. I leave with a urethra sore and aching, tests that try to discover why this loved 37 year old body is incontinent and often full of pain. I can heal. I will heal. I am healing.
And the beauty.
Looking in the mirror, silently remembering the prayers and blessings sent from this gorgeous community to my bladder and my spirit. Forgiving myself the slight ache of seeing the scale higher than previous comfort zones allowed.
The meditation circle in my little backyard. Needs dirt. Plants. A statue. My summer altar to sit at and sip coffee or calm my body. An early birthday gift to myself. A place to think of others. To send silent blessings, yes, I'm talking to you. Living in 900 square feet with three children and a dog creates a most desired longing for warm months. To extend living space and in a sense, my spiritual space. And yes, I so want to rearrange my living room around, something new for the summer solstice.
And the beauty.
Each day I walk closer to my spirit's calling. Prayers found in tea bags. Rocks from those beaches, lined up outside of my little bungalow. An introverts words, steps, breaths, time, silence, meditations while holding steaming mugs with painted nails.
And the beauty under your feet? Where are your prayers found?
I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a Decaf Coffee (not sure why I feel that must be capitalized), grilled cheese on millet bread for breakfast and they all ate it, no fighting morning -I swear it, holy moly do I need a shower and some yoga kind of mama.
These are my pay-it-forward lists.
Now I must, must, must go take that shower. And figure out summer camp for the kids. And get garbage bags and bird food. And make my to-do list for tomorrow's work day. Or just go sit in the sun while Lucas rides his bike!
Three babies. Maybe three tattoos. We'll see. I've been playing around with a sharpie until I find just the right one.
I have three ideas in mind. They are permanent, yes. So are my babies, and I like them that way.
Here is a secret. I've tended to hide behind a fear of judgement. When my life rather abruptly looked me in the face a few years ago and I had to learn trust and faith, I got my nose pierced. I felt so brave and as though I was finally starting to become myself.
I had always wanted my nose pierced. Always.
I made a decision for myself without needing approval or being afraid of what anyone would say or think. That decision marked time for me. When I see my nose ring I think about that year of transformation which has led me to who I am now.
Last year was all about joy. I have been taking a journey through ritual, trust and magic and all along feathers have followed my journey. One of our beautiful joy up tribe members even sent me an envelope stuffed with feathers. I wore feather earrings, feathers in my hair. My mantra was I am love. My highly sensitive self is all about sharing that love and creating and working from a place of love.
So feathers and love and anchors and birds are visions dancing in my head. (You can go peek at my Pinterest board of Inspired Tats!) Maybe obvious, perhaps discreetly placed. Time will tell. No impulsive tattoos for me, I've been thinking and planning for a long time.
Each year I feel like I have stepped into my own skin that much more.
Wanna talk tattoos or the marking of time?
P.S. Surrender has begun with prep week, there is still time to join us! Would love to move through time with you.
Let go mama. Let him spread his wings and fly. Allow him to discover who he is, without the weight of his curls, or his mistakes or his past story. At three and half he has a story and he wants more than anything to start writing his own chapters.
And so I surrendered.
Watched the curls fall. Cried at the thought, smiled in the moment.
Reminded myself he is a HSP too.
Remembered all the times I had long flowing blonde hair and when I felt defined by it, would cut it all off. Pixie cut.
When Chloe was four she also asked to shave her head and without any hesitation we let her. There is such freedom in being able to fly as yourself. Removed from definitions of beauty, you start to see your wings.
Yep, looking at those pictures from this morning and then seeing the now, there is my baby turning into a little boy.
I may have mentioned before that I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I attract other HSPeople because it feels so freaking awesome to be understood. So here are some behind the scenes notes from my world.
I've had these baby bangs for about a year now. When you are sensitive, it is important to feel deliciously beautiful in your skin. When my bangs would touch my eyes or my face I couldn't breathe. I wore lots of scarfs in my hair for the longest time just to keep all the hair off my face. I had the idea to make my bangs really short and my love affair with the baby bang was born.
All the reasons not to get them: You have a cowlick, they are hard to style, they so wouldn't fit your face. Well, I heard all of those and I did it anyway. Love these bangs. And I love Instagram, come find me @hannahmarcotti
Sensitive is beautiful and has its unique challenges. I like to think of them as my growth chart. Just like a child uses a pencil to mark how tall they are getting on the wall, I mark my awakening to the joys of being HSP. Realizing what is actually the gift inside of it all.
I take things really personally, meaning I feel what may not be intended. A small comment said in jest or otherwise can leave me feeling raw and emotional for days. It allows me to learn that it isn't all about me. It gives me a chance to practice speaking the truth, asking questions, digging a little bit deeper. And sometimes it just leaves me in a panic. PANIC! I am feeling my way through this and my number one fear, that people won't like me. Oh my, can I just let go of that one already? Almost.
When I'm going through stuff, I retreat. It might be for a few days or a few months. I'm coming off of a whole lot of months where I have needed to do some healing, thinking, learning, stretching and surrendering. I feel strong, like I am coming out of a deep winter hibernation. I am letting the sun shine down on my face. I have unending gratitude for being able to run a business online, it is a blessing for a HSP.
So I went and had my bangs trimmed and my eyebrows waxed. I'm feeling a strong need to start doing more connecting in person, to move through the world being seen.
Bangs and all.
(And while we are on the topic of retreats, I have on my manifesting list, To be asked to teach at a retreat where I can wear yoga pants.)
Monday with Lori Portka - AnaLisa Rutstein
Tuesday with Dyamond Robinson-Patlyek - Brandi Yee
Wednesday with me and Surrender - Lacey Wright and The Spot from our angel donor - Ruth Clark
Thursday with Jenn Gibson - Heather Day
Friday with Vapour Organic Beauty - Tahirih
Saturday with Chelsea Biggs - Geordan Montalvo
(Visiting my beautiful friend and partner Michelle in Virginia.)
Winners for Beauty Week's giveaways will all be announced tomorrow on the blog. Thank you from my heart to yours for leaving such gorgeous comments all week. If you missed any of the posts, here they all are again:
Monday with Lori Portka
Tuesday with Dyamond Robinson-Patlyek
Wednesday with me and Surrender
Thursday with Jenn Gibson
Friday with Vapour Organic Beauty
Saturday with Chelsea Biggs
What is beautiful through your eyes?
For those of you who haven't met Jenny yet, she has graciously been helping me with the back end of my business. She takes care of my week, keeps me settled and calm and does a whole lot of busy work. If you've been in my tribe for a while, you already know and love this woman. She is beauty.
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
Want to know two of the things that I think are most beautiful? Dreaming and action. Together they are secret sauce, butterfly magic, manifest beauty.
Dreaming felt impossible for me until I realized that my dreams were just that, my own to hold and cradle and nurture. Just like comparing my kids to yours, comparing my dreams to yours was the surest way to blow them out. Ignite and extinguish.
As I watch and guide women around me to start to dream and move, move, move, I know that I have found my beautiful work.
Today Chelsea Biggs from The Utopian Collection shares beauty through her eyes. Chelsea and I met at a party. I was drawn to her first from her immense beauty (this girl shines) and then from the way she talked about her business. I could talk about new businesses for hours. It took us about a year to finally meet for dinner!
Chelsea is multi-passionate. Not quite sure what she can't do. For the last 102ish days she has made a bag a day. I'm completely in awe of this. From the dream to the action. This is how you rock beautiful work. Surrendering to the dream and making it happen.
What is beautiful through your eyes?
Through my eyes beauty is confidence
to be who you are and where you are today
Beauty is compassion for those you love
for all those who you pass in your day
Beauty is the simple things
a piece of a robin's egg on a walk
a smile from your lover
flower petals in the streets
a morning storm
Beauty is not something to strive for
it is a state of mind.
Live in Beauty.
You are Beautiful.
Chelsea is offering one beautiful person a gorgeous feather hair clip. I have two, no three, of these. Sometimes we just have to wear a feather in our hair. To enter to win, simply leave a comment below with an answer to this question:
How do you make space to dream your beautiful dreams?
(Winners from the week will be announced on Monday 5-21-2012!)
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
I discovered Vapour and fell happily for every product they have. Gluten-free and cruelty free, so no worries about safety. My dog ate my favorite product from them and he seemed to want more.
I feel beautiful in make-up and I feel beautiful without it. I have found that if I do my hair and put on make-up I am more productive. I say nicer things to myself in my chattering mind. I feel like being seen.
Our outside reflects what is happening on the inside. Ever see a women who has gone through a break up go out and cut all her hair off? Or watch as someone becomes crazy joyful and they start to drop weight and dress with a tad of sparkle? Do you notice that on days you wear jewelry that you carry yourself in a more beautiful fashion?
Beauty is in our soul, our spirit and our physical world. I give you permission to want to look and feel beautifully and dress in a way that shows it off.
If you were part of the summer Joy Up you'll remember one day's soulwork was all about reconnecting to the person you used to be. The one that wore red cowgirl boots or feathers in her hair. The girl who used to put scarves around her neck and collected big earrings. The red lipstick wearing woman who traded her color for chapstick in her diaper bag.
Beauty feels good. When we wear beauty on the outside it transforms our insides.
So if you haven't put on lipstick for a while, hear is a dare to go out and find an outrageously lovely color and smear it on. And take a picture. And love yourself up a bit. Yes, mamas and friends, you are hot!!!!
What is beautiful through your eyes? (from comments on the blog or FB page)
Foggy days, love them! - Liz
The world around me when I am laying in my hammock. - Michelle
Sunlight streaming in the windows and lighting up the fur flying about. - Melissa
Everything I see right now...I can't choose one. My daughter howling and laughing with her monster movie. My houseplants soaking up the last bits of indirect sunlight. The contrast of the tree leaves against the blue blue sky interspersed with cotton clouds. The love and fox bracelets on my wrists, which I've always been fond of. The kindergarten writing on the chalkboard. The table full of family things. The clean kitchen, which I'm about to go cook in. And how GOOD it feels to sit here in this space that reflects me back to me and soak it all in. - Anna
Today beauty is coming across photos of myself from two years ago, taken by someone I don’t know, and thinking, “Oh. Hey. I look beautiful.” I could not have seen that back then. Today is knowing I recognize both my inner AND outer beauty. - Jennifer
today beauty through my eyes is the shit path. the muck and the poo and the dank and dark places. seeing them now, as i am able, from this side of peace, joy, more clarity and love than i’ve ever known, they now possess a certain beauty to me. one wrapped up in surrender. as once i did, surrender that is, it seemed to begin clearing away. - Latisha
For me… today, in this moment… beauty is allowing myself to admit that I’ve lost the beauty I used to find in myself and allowing myself to begin the search for her again. - Amber
Today's giveaway is two shades of lipstick from Vapour Organic Beauty. Thank you Vapour! Hint and Restraint. I love how smooth and silky the lipstick is. It might make giving out a few kisses today much more fun.To enter to win, simply leave a comment below with an answer to this question:
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
Beauty is often elusive to us because our minds are so busy. Busy can include comparisons and trying to keep up with what we think we should be doing and how we think we should be looking. The ever fascinating loop of I am not good enough.
In stillness we learn love and compassion, we quiet our racing competitive minds. Beauty is everywhere inside of stillness.
Jenn Gibson from the popular and adored site Roots of She shares beauty through her eyes today. She is love, love, love.
Her site is sacred space shared by women everywhere. It is my favorite place to go and read and let myself be lost in words and thoughts and prompts. Recently Jenn became a life coach and is feeling the joy and beauty of that expansion into deeper purpose.
Watching her grow into her truth, guided by her mission --which is for you to know you are never alone, reminds us that we are all here for a unique and beautiful purpose.
What is beautiful through your eyes?
Beauty looks like wrinkled hands, bifocal glasses and white hair. Beauty looks like a momma nursing her child, and the wonder in a child's eyes.
Beauty looks like the sunrise and sunset and the knowledge that the moon will be rising soon, that the stars are about to come out and play.
Beauty looks like tears and bravery and surrender and joy and reveling in the sacredness that is you.
What I know to be true about beauty is this: We are all beautiful.
With our scars or hair that's growing out, with our round bellies or knobby knees, we are beautiful. With our vulnerable eyes and heart, with our hope and beliefs and dreams, we are beautiful.
Because it's our hearts and minds, our souls and dreams, our desires and hopes that makes us beautiful. It's when we are living our Truths, sinking deep into our integrity and values, acknowledging that yes, we are not only worth this, but so much more.
Jenn is offering one beautiful person a copy of her Metta in Mantras kit: a guided meditation kit includes a 20 minute meditation, a 15 page mini e-book filled with tips and hints on starting out with guided meditation and a set of six printable affirmations. To enter to win, simply leave a comment below with an answer to this question:
How do you find sacred space?
(Winners from the week will be announced on Monday 5-21-2012!)
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
I wondered, would anyone answer yesterday's question (What is beautiful about you?) with a physical attribute? And some of you did. I felt blissed out about that!
I had a realization last year, that I continue to have about once a week about my belly. When I get dressed I look at my belly. Does the shirt cling and show my wiggly middle? Should I put a scarf or sweater on to hide it?
I never, ever looked at my face. Shirt on --belly. Pants on --belly. Makeup on --belly. (Yes, I could even pull that one off, does this mascara make my belly look big?)
So I started to look at my face. And my legs. And my butt. And my arms. And my ears. I moved my gaze around my entire self. I started to wear bigger earrings and necklaces so I would focus my eyes up around my face. I found shoes I loved so as to glance at my feet.
I surrendered to a new way of viewing beauty. Beauty is not based on my stomach. I repeat, my beauty is not based on my stomach.
Fighting with my body is exhausting. I was doing it for so many years, years where there was very little to actually fight over!
I surrender to my beauty. Yes, my beauty.
Can you imagine your world if you did the same, let your beauty lead you, speak for you, let you be seen? No fight, just pure love.
Surrendering.
What is beautiful through my eyes?
Today beauty looked like my six year old making me tea.
My new striped skirt and tunic with a hot pink, sparkly necklace...beauty!
It looked like a face without makeup.
A moment of remembering my feet in the sand as I look at the gorgeous beach rocks we carried home with us.
It was words from others filling me with love. Wrapping me in love.
Today beauty was sitting in a chair at my Dr.'s and knowing that I was not alone.
Beauty was the way the strawberries sunk into my white sour yogurt.
Watching my little fall to sleep next to me, his chest rising and falling under the cozy blanket.
Drops falling on the roses, this was beauty.
Beauty was peeling off my clothes at the end of the day and breathing into the places where I feel judgement for my body.
Beauty. Yes, I surrender to beauty. The beauty I am. The beauty around me. The beauty I dream of. The beauty yet to come.
Today two spots in Making Space for Surrender are being offered. One from me, one from an angel who is sponsoring one beautiful woman to take the course. To enter to win, simply leave a comment below with an answer to this question, and if your name is drawn and you already paid for the course you will be reimbursed:
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
I am surrounded by beautiful women, some who know their beauty, others just discovering it. My community is rich and layered.
On days when I feel blah, less than, all I need to do is look out to my community, the one that exists with the women who live around me and to my virtual community.
I need to get dressed, out of pajamas and into clothes that make my body feel beautiful. I've been known to wear yoga pants with an outrageously beautiful necklace and a face painted softly with organic make-up.
I need to move, to flow inside of yoga and then sit in the stillness of meditation, my Mala in hand.
The beauty of community is that we are never alone, even when we are by ourselves.
We are supported and held.
Dyamond makes Malas and jewelry for rebellious yogis and spiritual rockstars and they are beauty. She is beauty. Honest, real, vulnerable and strong. Dyamond is part of the loving online community that I am a part of. I am grateful for her presence.
I was on Dyamond's FB page the other day and she had posted this, just one of the reasons being part of a beautiful community who lifts you up is vital.
A Hugging Meditation Practice
by Thich Nhat Hanh
When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. Hugging with mindfulness and concentration can bring reconciliation, healing, understanding, and much happiness.
You can practice hugging meditation with a friend, a child, your parents, or even a tree. To practice, first bow to each other and recognize each other's presence. Then, enjoy three deep, conscious breaths to bring yourself fully into the present moment. Next, open your arms and begin hugging, holding each other for three in-and-out-breaths.
With the first breath, become aware that you are present in this very moment and feel happy. With the second breath, become aware that the other person is present in this moment and feel happy as well. With the third breath, become aware that you are here together, right now on this Earth. We can feel deep gratitude and happiness for our togetherness. Finally, release the other person and bow to each other to show your thanks.
What is beautiful through your eyes?
Slender hairy legs and curvy thighs.
Beautiful sunrises and cloudy thundery nights.
This week on the blog I am hosting beauty week. What is beautiful through your eyes?
I want us to talk about beauty, to feel beauty, to be inspired by beauty. Beauty is something that we enjoy with all of our senses. With our hearts. I'll be asking you to join the conversation over on FB and Twitter. I want to know what is beautiful through your eyes. Each day there will be a giveaway, simply leave a comment to enter to win.
Lori, my soul-sister is joining us today. Lori has spent the last year working on A Hundred Thank-Yous. When I think of beauty my mind wanders in so many directions. From the smooth glossy surface of my decaf coffee to the new shade of nail polish I found at Anthropologie. And I think about beautiful work. This project, this gift of beauty and gratitude that Lori has created is magic. It has changed her life and if we all pay attention to this, if we let ourselves understand the depth of what gratitude allows, our lives too will be changed.
I will be a guest at Lori's exhibition and I am filled with joy. Beauty. Beautiful work. Beautiful living. Beautiful Lori.
What is beautiful through your eyes?
Beauty looks like forgiveness, kisses on the forehead, Anthropologie dresses, bright colors, green buds after winter.
Beauty is what makes me tear up with emotion, what touches my heart and brings me into the moment, grateful and happy.
Lori is giving away to one beautiful person, her prayer flags. To enter to win, simply leave a comment below with an answer to this question:
What word will you whisper today in prayer, stillness or meditation?
(Winners from the week will be announced on Monday 5-21-2012!)
Let's not let a magazine pull us apart -- as though we must take sides as mothers. Let's celebrate Mother's Day in unity, knowing that in our love and the safety we bring to our children that we are mom enough. Getting lost in the details serves no one. We have an opportunity to use social media, our blogs, our words for healing ourselves and our planet. I am mom enough to do all I can to be part of that.
***
I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a Decaf Earl Grey, every sip devoured and desired, guiltily grateful my son wanted the pizza hot lunch so I only had to make one lunch and already spent far too much time online this morning (meaning, so has my Lucas) kind of mama.
These are my pay-it-forward lists.
The beautiful and spiritual coach Jennifer Wells-McCullough asked me to share a story about faith as she is launching TODAY a most enchanting ebook about the F- word. I have so many stories I could share but this was a turning point. While I don't share how I got to the place of knowing my abundance, the year of work and chaos that led me to understand it intimately, I hope the story will resonate within you and allow you to remember when Faith has showed up for you, or perhaps it was there all along.
***
Faith showed up on the day we had $18 in the bank. There were no credit cards, we had let go of them as they had given us a false sense of living and safety and we were drowning in debt. There had been weeks of filling up my gas tank with only $5 at a time because that is all I had. Like being a college student, yet with 3 kids and debt, debt, debt.
When we gave up credit cards everything shifted. It is one of the decisions that saved my marriage. Truth heals us. We had to face all the decisions we had ever made around money and some of those decisions were powerfully raw. To pay off the $15,000 in hospital bills for my first miscarriage, we had put it on a credit card. That was the beginning. Looking at the old story meant going back and seeing all the places where together, Patrick and I had started to disconnect. Our marriage became stronger but not before a whole lot of freaking hard work and super-shitty times!
Money is a mirror of where you are and how you are choosing your moments. Money is energy and credit is most often a negative energy, it pulls from you and rarely makes a return. How we feel about money, treat it, look at it, use it, accept it --this is our mirror.
We had been living by making a payment to the credit cards each month and then using the credit cards for things like gas and groceries and lots of things we surely didn’t need. Each month the cycle would repeat. When the credit cards were gone, so was the safety net. We were leaping with no idea if we would make it to the other side or free fall. We owned a house that was bought before the market collapsed. Savings did not exist. My business was just starting the energy exchange of money being made.
$18.00 in the bank. I remember tears on that day that fell from fear, faith and freedom. I was scared about feeding my family, but the fear had changed. I knew that the fear was my old story. The one of lack and disconnect and not understanding how to truly live in abundance. All the work I had been doing for the past year had been about transforming the fear into abundance, loving the life I had, now. And a gift showed up to test that work. $18.00 in the bank. The beautiful work of learning to feel so grateful for now was about to be tested, again.
I looked around and saw all there was. I felt abundant in what already was in my home, of what was just waiting to be transformed into nourishment for us. The most divine feeling of gratitude washed over me for that $18.00 knowing how much abundance each penny truly held.
Magic. Faith. Something much larger than myself wrapped around me and I knew that this $18.00 was going to be transformed into my new understanding of abundance. The phone rang. My aunt offered to send my kids to camp. The mail came. A check from my grandfather with a note, “I remember how expensive raising three kids can be.” An email, my first paid writing gig. All of this moments after this message of faith and truth came to me.
I still get shivers when I think about it. We happen to be so abundant now the oil company keeps sending us a reminder that we have a credit with them. Oh we still have debt. We still have family who offer us breathing space with extra support. We are still ‘under’ when it comes to our house. But we have no lack. Faith didn’t remove the fear, it allowed us to learn from it, to access its message. That fear, oh it had so much to say and so many lessons for us to learn. We let go of so much, and still are. Yes, surrendering to faith without definition or proof.
Now we make decisions that come from abundance, not lack. Faith brought us there. Faith that believing in the powers of the Universe, God, Magic --whatever you call it-- could turn our entire world around. Faith that when you can feel abundant with so little, you realize you have love and joy and peace, as my children would say, ‘times infinity!’
Take-aways from my lovely encounter with the drinkable carpet cleaner:
:: Knock gently.
:: I may not need your service. This is important to know. Let me opt out with gentleness.
:: Tell me your story, but not so I feel bad for you, so I feel empowered by you and your choices.
:: Follow through on your promises. If you offer me an ingredient list, please show it to me. If you say you have something in your car and you'll be back later, don't stalk me on my own sidewalk and pull out scary men from big black cars. Ahem.
:: Know your s**t. Seriously, know it. You don't need to know everything, but be the expert in what you say you are.
:: If you tell me it is drinkable you might just need to pull out a shot glass and prove it to me.
Feel free to translate my marketing/sales advice to the Carpet Lady into your own business. Or if you need some support, check out all that Mamacoach Circle has to offer this month. Click right on the pictures to learn more and sign up!
