Making space for blessings, wishes...

December 1st we start to dance in the magic of the holiday and spend time with magic, blessings, ritual, letters from the heart, soulwork, reindeer (or bird) magical food, handmade stars, the beautiful smells of pie and more sprinklings of joy.

Join me along with members of the joy tribe on Thursday, November 29th at 8:30 pm Eastern Time as we kick off the Holiday Joy Up with words, meditation, stories of past joy ups and the inspiration for stepping into the Holiday with softness.

I've had a little thought playing in my head of joining some of the voices of the joy tribe together in this way and when I asked them, there was a resounding yes. Grab your eggnog and candy canes and meet us virtually from your cozy house in your jammies as we ring in the joy.

Yes, there will be magic.

Highly Sensitive Style (how I get dressed)

When I made my 2012 vision board on the February New Moon this picture of the woman in a gray sequined tunic with a black jacket standing under my word for the year, magic, was my focus. The essence of this picture, a woman standing in her power, shining, stepping into the light was the image I was manifesting. I also was learning that comfort as an HSP while feeling like I could claim my own style were not exclusive. I wanted this jacket and this sequined top, they just had to feel right on my body.

As a highly sensitive person much of my getting dressed is like a kid who can't stand the feeling of the hem on their sock. My clothes must feel right or they stay in the closet, unworn, often with tags still on.

I found my sequin top at TJ Maxx I think. I had been searching for one where you couldn't feel the sequins and that was long enough to act as a tunic. I love this shirt. It is gray, one of the 5 colors I wear. It sparkles. When I wear it I feel magic. Style to me is about a feeling. How do you want to feel when you climb into your clothes? As an HSP, comfort is at the top of that list, but it is more than comfort. To me it is like the difference between feeling like you are too hot or too cold, it is like stepping into that perfect temperature.

This year I've been quietly shopping in a new way. I love handmade items from Etsy. I love materials that are so soft you barely feel them. I am spending more for one item because I don't wear many items. I've also been releasing things. Releasing all the jeans that don't fit. Releasing anything that is a color I won't wear even if it is gorgeous. If I won't wear it, why is it hanging in my closet?

This also means releasing stories of guilt around spending money on so many things that I don't use. This is the hardest thing to release, each time I fill a bag with donation I remind myself that I am just getting to know myself even deeper. That this release is about coming home, but usually the guilt tries hard to stop me and keep the piles of unworn clothes in the drawer.

I found three essential things for my day as a mama and work at home entrepreneur: jeans, leggings and yoga pants. All three of these things can go from a snuggle on the couch to a tea date with a friend to walking the dog or sitting on the computer writing. I tried every jean and then I finally found the them. The ones. They feel like butter, the stretch just enough and my belly fits them. Love.

Layers have always been key to my HSP. Often the layers act as a shield when I'm in the world or feeling vulnerable. A scarf seems to balance me, ground me and once I discovered infinity scarves I was in my joy. Infinity scarves mean no tying or falling off or having to readjust. You just loop it on and go. More love.

In college I wore a lot of jewelry, in layers. Jewelery again must be soft, no itching and I try to find stones and metals that work with my energy. Just like the layers, they seem to ground me, to root my energy. A bonus is that many artists on Etsy are aware of this and help you choose your stones and colors through the descriptions they write.

Not long ago I realized that I only feel like myself if I wear certain colors. Neutrals really, whites, mochas or gold, gray and black or navy occasionally. I would buy gorgeous tops that sparkled of jewel tones and they would sit in my closet or I would wear them for 2 hours and then run back and grab my mocha shirt.

I remember once buying this beautiful purple tunic. Even as I was standing in line I could hear this little voice that had yet been fully acknowledged saying, you won't wear this, you won't wear this. I tried a few times to put it on and never made it out of the house. It was a little itchy and well, purple!!!

The moment I take off the shirt that feels wrong and climb inside of 'my colors' I can feel my body relax, melt. Perhaps some of my OCD is mixed into this, I don't know why this is, yet now when you look in my closet, you will not see the rainbow, you'll see the sand, the seashells, the clouds. You see me.

You will also see the birds. Feather earrings and my sparrow tattoo are part of this HSP style. They feel like me. This is what Highly Sensitive Style is, creating a wardrobe that feels like you, clothes that you climb into and come alive in your own version of shining. Clothes that not only make you look beautiful but that help you to feel beautiful. The gorgeous life, wearing things that make us more us.

As I create my vision board in 2013 I will find an image that captures the essence of the woman I continue to grow into. I love letting her find her light and giving her the gift of knowing who she is, in style, thoughts and visions.

Here is a list of style that I love, most I own, some I just adore.

This was the shirt that started it all. I love oversized shirts that hide my belly and I've always adored off the shoulder slouchy style. I'm sort of still in the 90's I think, jean jackets and off the shoulder shirts. Bring it!

Loving this, look at that color...that is my color. My HSP also really likes sleeves that are loose and then fitted at the bottom. I love being able to place the sleeve where I want it and it stays there!

I found this shirt and the color was whispering to me, come lay in the sand, take off your shoes and let's play.

Finally I found jeans that I feel joyful in. They don't feel like leggings, let's be real, but they are buttery and stretchy and I love them. I spent way more than this on the numerous jeans that I never wear because they don't feel good on me. I'm so happy to be done with that.

I can't find the leggings I own, but these look yummy! While I don't own these I've had them in my Etsy shopping cart!

All I can say is that this jacket is my favorite thing. It is soft, feels almost like a sweater and looks so beautiful on. My daughter tries to steal it daily, she may need one for Christmas!

I find all my yoga pants at TJ Maxx and usually I get Green Apple. They are long enough for my long legs, the material is gorgeous and I feel really sexy in them. Yes, sexy in yoga pants. This is a priority of mine.

I adore boots with heels and again, spent lots of money on shoes that don't feel good. I can walk the dog in these, stand in them for hours and they are heaven.

My feather earrings are no longer for sale but browsing through Etsy you'll find gorgeous feathers, like these.

Natural elements and animal energy has become vital for me, I adore this.

My favorite infinity scarf with shimmer is no longer for sale, I'd buy 12 of them if it was. I found something like it but I've never touched this one so don't know how it feels.

A stretchy and chunky belt is my new favorite thing. It helps me create some shape and not feel so self conscious about those things they call 'love handles!' I don't have this one but a similar one.

***

What I most want you to know is that finding your style is about the inner and outer expression of you. It is the telling of your story through the image you put on and bring to the world. Your style is a blend of your visions, feelings and comforts.

Feel gorgeous, be gorgeous.

***

More musings on HSP...

HSP That's Me

Tales of an HSP

Highly Sensitive Packing

Highly Sensitive Unpacking

A blessing for battle.

 

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

You are not the voices that tell you that you are fat or unloved or without. Broken.

You are joy unfolding.

You are not lacking. You are not them. You are not wrong.

You are perfectly imperfect and passionate beyond your own knowing.

Open yourself. Surrender to that feeling defining you. You are safe.

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

Forgive yourself for one moment and feel the gorgeous reality that you are so OK.

Release into your flow that is your dance through this year and into the next.

Send the sparks of desire, the waves of delight and the echo of your dreams into this day. And into this
night.

This is your blessing. A blessing to carry into battle.

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

To Feast

I spread out the tablecloth,
slip off my shoes and feast on preparation.

There is a dance that I do when I’m not moving.
I dream the dance, know the dance.

Can I say yes to the beauty and inspiration without pause?
Feast on my life.

I look down and see the first tattoo on my arm,
bird in flight,
joy in her eye.
Feathers found calling me forth towards abundance.
I feel the leather I curl onto,
the cotton comforter I bury under,
the fear I face as I move into my next dream.

Joy arises even as my tears fall and my body flares in pain.
Time. Passing, flowing, fighting, slowing, wanting, moving.
I let my pelvis ground me, holding, releasing, pushing, pulling.
Sensual space and divine trust.

Simplicity of habit
and that moment
when you know in your spirit that you won’t do that.

You won’t settle, you won’t allow.
Can I say the words that scare me but I must. Now.
To ease into divine pleasure.
I glue my list of dreams,
colorful and life alteringly scary-wonderful.

I vision. I accept that it feels like this now.
A knowing that I can shift those feelings, now.
Can I release and flow into my magic. My joy. My yes.

There is a feast in my spirit each time I find a feather where I never saw a bird.

***

Many months ago I set a very strong intention to manifest. I wrote that I wanted to be invited to teach at a retreat where I could wear my yoga pants. To me this meant being invited to teach places where I could be myself.

Many weeks ago Liz sent me an email about the possibility of teaching at a retreat that she was dreaming of, focused on joy and feasting on our lives. I learned to manifest by finding feathers. I would focus on them, feel their beauty, see them in mind's eye.

The retreat will be a true feast, of the senses and at the table we will share and in our beautiful time together. The spaces are limited and filling so beautifully with exactly the women who are called to be together in this space.

Learn more about this gorgeous time we will spend together in April. If you are being called into this cabin in the woods, I can't wait to meet you, to hug you, to guide you and to feast with you. Set your intention to manifest this magical time.

(Photo credit Vivienne McMaster)

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a up at 4:30am so glad it isn't 3:00am again, must go to Trader Joe's for almond meal and chocolate, forgot to put laundry in for Chloe that I promised (luckily I'm up at 4:30am) and I'm going to make the pie today -you'll see- kind of mama.

These are my pay-it-forward lists.

This could be a fun way to look back and remember.

This inspires me to move, something that I just don't have naturally born within me. I want to move more.

I don't pause for a costume change either.

This jacket is soft as butter and for a HSP it is divine. I wore it all day long.

This was one of those wow posts. ~ via Tanya G.

Thank you to so many for how you give.

 The grain free recipe search commences. I haven't had stuffing in years.

 We do this. I was under the impression for years that making it yourself was hard, it isn't.

Oldie but goodie.

Making this Saturday for friends. I haven't had dinner guests in so long. Time to start again.

 This book. This life.

Suggested via FB for my kids who love to draw fantasy worlds. Waiting for Christmas. While praying for a Christmas that brings meaning, not stuff for the sake of stuff.

This is why I love the internet, community, connection. Donated.

***

This. This is happening. I'm going to tell you much more, for now, this.

Holiday bounty and my sweet friends.

With The Holiday Joy Up launched out into the world I am always humbled as the women start to gather together and form a community, a tribe, weeks before we even begin. Not everyone chooses to go through their days in group support, for some it is a chance to be quiet with their own thoughts and goals and dreams. I do love Soulwork in tribe though, there is something about going through an experience together that feels like magic.

We will be dancing in the magic together.

The Holiday Joy Up started as 10 days, as did all the Joy Ups (this was the video that started them all)! When it felt time to change things up the days were extended and now all of my programs are getting little make-overs to extend them so we have more time together and can travel together at a relaxed pace.

One woman said to me that at the end of December she will have had an email from me almost every morning for 3 months! I love this, showing up each morning with you and being part of the process of joy, change, heart-based purpose and learning more about who you are is my gorgeous life's work. I am truly grateful.

Please know that each joy up there are scholarships available if money is an issue for you in this moment. Women from past joy tribes who have gifted spots waiting for someone to fill them, if that is you, send an email to hello@hannahmarcotti.com to be matched up with a sponsor. One of the most magical parts is that often it is the women who started a joy up journey on scholarship are now gifting spots. The Joy Ups are that powerful, bringing us into places of abundance as we work through the tough stuff that brings us into our light.

My sweet friends are spreading their own magic.

I want to share with you some of the other Holiday offerings that some of my dearest friends have planned. I know that something on this list may resonate for you and be just what you were looking for in your own heart or for someone you love. I feel abundantly blessed to share their heart-based work with you. If you don't know these women you are in for a treat, pure delicious treat.

(Please note I am not an affiliate, just a loving friend to these women.)

Water your soul. ~ Liz Lamoreux

Wisdom Notes. ~ Rachel Cole

Santa Pause. ~ Kristin Noelle

30 Day Social Media Rehab. ~ Tiffany Han

Breathe Peace. ~ Jenn Gibson

New Mama Recharge. (In January) ~ Michelle Pfennighaus

In Community Grace we are doing some work around finding our feeling mantra. Mine is to feel inspired to create magic. Whether it is with my communities, the connections I make with clients, in my cozy family, with my book coach, long talks with my mastermind group, moments of clarity and joy from those I am deeply connected to, making space in my home and heart or simply as I sit down to write; I feel inspired to create magic.

Attaching my intentions with that feeling is what moves me forward, helps me dig deep into my own personal magic. I'll be sharing some stories from the Community Grace group as I know you will be as moved as I am by their personal grace.

The Holiday Joy Up 2012

Join us for Holiday Joy Up 2013 over here!!!!

When you dance in the magic something opens up inside and the desire for more joy, dreams and passion becomes the mission of the heart.

December 1st to the 22nd

As we approach the Holidays it is easy to lose focus on joy, we want magic and sparkly nights, not stress and fights! Pressures arise and we are faced with decisions to make and food indulgences on every table.

These 22 days are about connecting to daily gratitude, creating everyday magic, feeling filled with connection (rather than sugar), truthfulness, radiating love and that twinkle of inspiration for creating a season of joy.

Gratitude + Love + Magic = Holiday Joy

 22 days of holiday letters holding inside of them:

• Inspiration towards making more daily magical moments
• Reminders of what truly matters to us through holiday joy affirmations
• Gratitude makers - think noise makers full of gratitude - through soulwork assignments
  
• Recipes that make your taste buds joyful and your body gorgeous
  
• Daily sparkles, tingles, twinkles, fluttering...magic of the season

Reminders to dance in the magic of the season:

• Support from your joy tribe
• Inspirations for sharing the love of the season
• Twinkles of gratitude
• Joyful giving and receiving
  
• Gorgeous holiday living

Shifting into joy for the present moments:

• Feeling love for who we are now, yes, now
  
• Simple ways of showing love through the sharing and receiving of gifts and gestures
• Mindfulness and joy that come from the simple, ordinary tasks of our life
• Transforming the everyday into joyful holiday magic through Soulwork
  
• Fully being inside of the joy of the season

Magical guests contributing their sparkle and gratitude:

• Tanya Geisler
• Kelly Rae Roberts
• Kristin Noelle
• Alana Sheeren
• Bari Tessler

Recipes to connect you deeper to your health:

• Grain-free and mostly dairy free, like me!

Here is how we move into the magic:

• A letter each morning delivered to your email, like a daily gift of gratitude
• 22 days of inspiration
• A Facebook Joy Tribe Group to chat in, share inspiration, pictures and the magic of the season
• Watch your holiday joy start to sparkle as you dance in the magic
•  I celebrate Christmas but this is for celebrating the season, not a specific holiday
• Share the magic we will be dancing in, sign up with a soulsister
• $22.00 for 22 days
• Or join and gift to a soulsister for $38.00
• December 1st to the 22nd
  

I always smell joy and the excitement in the air, see it in the lights that start to sparkle and taste it in the homemade applesauce simmering away on the stove. This time together is about focusing on those special moments and making memories. Taking the stress and pressures and flipping them into gratitude, love and joy! Let's discover the magic of the twinkle together.

Here is my love note to you:

• I believe you are amazing
• I believe in you connecting to the special
• I believe in the magic of all you are
• I believe in you

 

"To feel that connection that exists between all of us, everywhere, is so refreshing and joyful." - Emily

"This time has been wonderful. I met Joy like an old friend coming back into my life. I am really enjoying the visit and hope that she stays." - Laura

"This has been the most precious of days ♥ !" - Stacy

"Thank you for these days, they will ripple into many more days to come." - Jenn

"Focusing on joy has allowed me to encourage and old friend and totally change the way I think about situations. I'm usually negative but these past days I have learned to speak the truth in my head out loud instead of letting the negative situations take over. It has been really amazing." - Rachel

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

(Writing this blog post, sipping that coffee, wearing something I made with my hands. Joy.)

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am  a sinking into bed, creating things with my hands while sipping coffee, can't believe it is almost noon and I've got some deadlines to go play with kind of mama.

These are my pay-it-forward lists.

I love most things with sensitive in the title.

Let's just know this and really pay attention. And also believe that our world must start to change and that we are that change.

I have a huge crush on succulents.

Beautiful. Photography dreams I have.

Hello, mama will be going into the kitchen.

I wish I was in CA so I could be part of this magic.

Vivienne is rocking my world with everything she does and is.

Via Stefanie Renee on FB this beautiful kickstarter. Can you feel the energy around this one. Buy a gorgeously loving bag for yourself or a gift for someone you love and know that this is supporting real art.

I'm committed to talking more about healing our marriages and our own selves. This from Kelly, this will guide you.

I'm starting to make things again. I'll write about it soon, but for now, what she said. Gorgeousness from Andrea.

"Big heart love." Yes, that is Jenny. Her telling of truth is awe inspiring. I am blessed to have her on my team.

Speaking of awe, hello!!! Inspired, intimidated and admitting I think we have one printed picture of our third child in the house. I hung a frame up in the kitchen and it is still empty. He's four.

In nude. Just saying.

How we make this little thing called magic.

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.” ~ Roald Dahl

Here is your soulwork for today. Pick a word or a color or an object. Think about it, hold it inside your mind and your heart. Focus on it for at least 10 minutes in silence.

As you go through the next few days keep your camera or your iphone handy and take a picture every time you see the word, color or object. Watch how what you focus on and believe in shows up.

This is the first step to magic making. Focus and belief.

For added fun a hashtag on instagram #magicmaking if you want to share your magic. (Find me at @hannahmarcotti on Instagram.)

“It's still magic even if you know how it's done.” ~ Terry Pratchett

I have two spots open for November Magic Making Sessions. If you are being called deeper into understanding yourself and your creative work life, let's make some magic together. xo

***

"Hannah Marcotti is my secret weapon.  As a mom & a coach, I was struggling a bit to find balance.  Hannah met me exactly where I was & guided me toward a healthier lifestyle.  Through her intuitive coaching style & her unique business savvy, I was able to completely take Soul Carrot to the next level!"

 http://www.soulcarrot.com

 

 

"I let go of three of the four services I was offering and wow, do I feel so much better!"

http://sagelifeconsulting.com/

In real time. The giveaway that became my gift.

What started as a giveaway became story whispers from women in my community. I want to have 105 Malas around my neck to give to each one of the women who shared a piece of their story or offered encouragement or just said thank you. To me. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself. I hope that those of you who joined Spirits of Joy are holding onto it, wearing it, in just the way you might if I could send you each a beautiful Mala. You each touched my heart so deeply. So truthfully.

 Here are some of the whispers:::

Hannah…the pure way in which you express your passion for your family, your work and life is beautiful. Although our paths crossed only a few days ago through your kind offer of Spirits of Joy, I feel honored to know you. What you have created is magical and I’m proud and grateful to be a part of it. I own a Mala, gifted by a treasured friend, so I’m not posting here hoping to be a recipient of your kind offer, but to simply express my gratitude for the gift that is you! I’m certain your Mala already knows where it needs to go next.

Your lovely gesture- and all the beautiful comments that follow- are making me cry. I am so, so happy that 600 women are blessed to experience what I felt in that sweet little office space on Wayland. That Awakening Mala looks beautiful on you, friend.

I love the idea of this ‘give away’ as to me, it feels really special, as it has been so important for you and your family: as a symbol and as a part of daily rituals, which add so much to how we experience our daily lives.

Hannah, the short answer is yes! your Mala speaks to me. Shouts to me. At times, whispers intimately in my ear. Only really because it is yours, and you speak to me.

Weeping here. Hard. I’m telling you that I think that gratitude and gifting is The Answer. I feel like you have just lifted another veil for me. There's so much pain and dis-ease in grasping and holding expectations and “I’m owed that-ness“, and its just so hard to let go of because I’m scared. You, know?

This is such a beautiful outpouring of generosity, Hannah, cocooned inside that deep knowing you always seem to possess of when it’s time to shift the energy. As I learn to be still in my own life and to claim those blessings that manifest themselves in my everyday, I am so glad to have you as one of my “spirit guides in human form.” Thank you.

I sit here crying not only at your generosity…but also because I too am on a similar path…one speckled with obstacles at nearly every turn, and yet, I am trying to find the message in this journey, instead of being defeated by it. I have spent years wishing and hoping, and am now moving on to embrace those dreams you talk about.

***

The only word that keeps coming to mind is humbled. Every time I think it is about me giving I am given an opportunity to practice receiving in deeper ways. From my monkey mind saying, um, who would want a Mala that has been yours, to moving into the truth that this community that has gathered around is full of such love, truth and (here is my lesson) gratitude for this space and this work.

I breathe it in. I am in the truth of this. In real time.

As I have been wanting to launch a program all about community but talking myself out of it at every turn, who shows up to reinforce my work? My beautiful community. You. And you. And yes, you.

I read every comment multiple times and felt all of you, with me, infusing your stories into this Mala.

Christina W. writes, "Ahhh, just reading this post now and all the comments of Joy. As I sit already in a seat of gratitude from you, my smile is big thinking of what a wonderful gesture of spirit this is, moving through you to another. May the receiver be open to all its gifts and may your imprint be passed on through all wearers in the future chain. love. xo"

The Mala will be going to visit Christina on its next stop in this chain. It will carry a story, all of these story whispers. And a new story will start.

And we can all hold onto this mantra of receiving, this is what I am learning how to do, be truly open to all of the gifts when we learn how to accept as gracefully as we can give. Amen to that.

May the receiver be open to all its gifts.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so honored you are here.

In real time. And a Tiny Devotions Mala Giveaway.

Art by Cheryn from the August Joy Up, now resting in my kitchen!

A dive into gratitude this year, beginning with my 38th birthday. I offered my newest program, Spirits of Joy, just for that one day as my gift. Not even two hours after I announced my birthday gift there were 200 sign ups and the calm of birthday morning was quickly turned into rushing to find a new way to give out this gift. The system I set up was not able to allow more than 200 'free' things out in a day.

I fixed the problem after a few panicked phone calls to my support team, thank goodness they love me! By the end of the night over 500 sign ups. A huge silent and not so silent blessing to Susannah - xoxoxo - who writes one sentence about it and more sign up. And so many of you in this beautiful community shared this program not because of me and my little, um big, birthday but because you believe so deeply in this work.

After the day of giving I tucked a nice low price on it and by last night 600 women, exactly, were signed up.

This is freaking awesome and it scared the shit out of me. I felt a bit paralyzed by the truth of that.

It was magic.

And scary. I am beyond proud of the way I've created and dreamt my business. I love the way my work is unfolding because it is so completely me, not a formula, just my intuition and my love of heart-centered marketing. It never occurred to me to ask my friends to help me spread the word (now I know I could lovingly do so). So many of you did. This is about the journey but it is also about me learning to be where I am.

To accept the fear that came with 600 gorgeous souls being a part of this. Behind the scenes of this blog are a lot of hours, manifesting deep, real connections, saying to the kids "give me one more minute" and late, late nights. It is a part of me that keeps me pulsing now.

Each time the business grows I learn how to hold that new amount of energy, that is what we are doing when we create community, bringing our energy together. As a coach you learn how to guide without being drained and giving away your energy, this is a tender process that takes time to learn and develop.

I had a teary hour with my coach where she helped me find the space to shift back into my flow of writing. That is where the magic is, in this shift, making space to return to the words. The messages. The truths.

Day 1 started today. I'm sitting on the porch, markers and gluten-free pretzels that the kids abandoned for bikes. And I type. In real time.

Mala from me to you. My African Jade Mala, that has been with me for the last year, that I gifted to myself after last summer's joy up. I want to give it a new home, with one of you in this community that keeps me honest and reaching towards deeper grace in all I do.

My new Mala, Awakening, was a birthday present from sweet Jenny (The Biz Doula). From dreaming and learning to hold energy to discovering the possibilities inside of myself. My journey. The Jade Mala is ready to share energy with a new person. I love the idea of passing it forward. (And there might be a few more goodies to find their way into that package!)

I've wanted to do this for a while since my new Mala arrived. I thought maybe you all would think I was crazy giving away my necklace. But in real time. Doing it today. Just leave a comment if this Mala speaks to you. xo

IMG 3255 from Hannah Marcotti on Vimeo.

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a well at least I have dog food for the dog and frozen pizza for dinner, drinking more water, manifesting the most amazing babysitter for me and Lucas (please oh please), driving a minivan with a piece of plastic falling off from underneath, so crazy happy my husband has a whole week off next week kind of mama.

These are my pay-it-forward lists.

So, let's just start with this.

Amazing find. (This woman I adore linked it up on FB.)

Julie starts this post acknowledging how blessed she is and my eyes start to water. This truth... and openness.

I have enjoyed pastries from this bakery so many times and her story, wow. My Aunt and a dear friend live in Hastings.

Because sometimes we feel like this. Yes, I know you know.

Writers. This.

The beautiful Jennifer Louden posted this book link today on FB and with it a beautiful conversation, "A HUGE danger for me of social media & blogging is focusing on short term pats on the back rather than the work itself."

Time Sensitive, it is the birthday of one of my sweetest friends and a kick-ass coach/mama/woman.

How sweet is this? I love being able to connect the dots from the work I do with the stories behind it.

I really love this guy.

Obsessed with recreating something like this.

And if I lived alone I would probably do this.

Yes, my antlers are on their way. Can't wait to welcome them in. And re-arrange the furniture when they arrive. Of course. No, my husband has no idea, unless he is reading my blog right now. ;)

This Tiny Life ~ Part 2, The Living Room

It is the unexpected moments, market crashes, losses, diagnoses or stuck places that bring about beautiful gifts to our lives via the struggles and the challenges that guide and allow us to find our magic. If we choose.

Welcome to my living room.

I am an obsessive furniture re-arranger. It is lovely to know I am not alone in my shifting of stuff to make space. For years I was certain no one else ever moved a couch or table once, let alone every season. Now I know there are so many others who must move things around to shift energy and create space in their homes, hearts and minds.

I crave space with every breath I take.

Living life inside of a highly sensitive body that belongs to a highly sensitive soul has been a life of practice and knowing. It has taken me years to forgive myself such things as moving furniture around, forgetting that I own a black tank top and buying a new one 5 times, not knowing how to sit in a group of people talking with no one leading the discussion, waking up and just feeling so off that I must find a way to cry and inducing exhaustion after scheduling something to do out of the house every day for weeks and needing days and days of stillness to recover.

I've had to learn to forgive the guilt and the feelings of 'being too sensitive' as a negative. This is part of the beautiful work.

The living room is long and skinny, with 6 windows plus the glass door, 2 radiators and 3 doorways. As someone who must constantly move space, make space, feel space:: a challenge. Every time I'm certain I've found every possible way of moving the furniture another one presents itself. And move it all I do. And then I can breathe. The kids are calmer, play longer.

Change is scary but also brings with it opportunity for feeling new. Moving things in my space does this for me.

I've shifted furniture around even when we had big apartments. I used to re-arrange my dorm rooms and my memories of shifting go back to doll collections. My mom once suggested I look into staging houses for people wanting to sell because I can find space! Tiny house living was not a dream of mine, in fact we owe more on the house than at the moment we could ever, ever sell it for, so it isn't something that has saved us money. This is the challenge life has brought (among gobs of others) to see if I would follow it towards my magic.

If I could move today, get out from this mortgage, forget about the dream of turning the attic into our master suite and meditation/work space would I? Yep. In a second. I would love to be released and start fresh from who I am now, with the knowing I hold and the growth that I have discovered as I've surrendered to ease. Part of the reason I am who I am today, a gift of my house. Every room has its own stories to tell, to whisper, to shout, to hum.

What feels like failure is actually the clouds over our sun. Both full of beauty.

Patrick and I often get to a moment where we look at our choices and wish we could go back and choose again, as the people we have become. But it is these choices that have designed our next choices for who we want to be now. Just as I design my living room to flow with what is happening in our family, now.

When the boys need more open space or the season pushes us outdoors, each placement of furniture changes. As Chloe started to express the desire for her own room, we moved the table into the living room and put our bed in the little dining room. My shins are banged up because at night when I get up to pee there is very little room to walk around the bed. I dream of that attic space some day and know that giving Chloe her room was making space for her to grow up.

Baskets are sorted. Pillows are bursting with pattern and color. Furniture is soft and only sort of nice, I have two boys and a dog and they will beat up your stuff. Patrick walks through the front door each night and I get to decide how I will greet him. With the gratitude for what I have or the exhaustion from what I struggle with. I want to open the door with a kiss and acceptance the most. To meet him with grace. Often the tired lady opens the door and forgets to smile.

Grace is a way of living, it is a shift into living with elegance, softness, ease, love, kindness and flow.

This tiny life can make it hard for me to show up inside of that gratitude for what is.

This is why we make space. This is why we connect to our heart center. This is why we have to find moments to snuggle and cuddle even in the smallest of living rooms. My joy is my now. My now gets to dream of what is next.

***

Part 1 ~ This Tiny Life, The Kitchen

There is a story behind every program, every offer, every blog post, newsletter or picture of mine. Or of yours. I live for the story. I breathe the story. Story is my muse. The Making Space Cleanse is one such story. A story of falling in love with the life we have so that we can live the life of our dreams. This little 10 day program is the heart of how I strive to live, to create, to guide.

On the equinox.

I am embracing a new feeling of sexy. (Please know how terrifying it is to write that on my blog which I'm fairly certain more than 3 people read now!!!)

After my first pelvic floor therapy appointment I started to feel a release. My therapist told me that she couldn't believe how tight my pelvic floor muscles were and she spent about half an hour working to release them, which she will continue to do once a week for a month or so. I don't really know what she was doing, but I do know she used the word trigger points. It was a combination of pain and release.

I was not surprised at how tight those muscles are. I have a jaw that I clench almost always. I am a hyper-flexible body and I hold it as tight as I can. Always. My contradiction. My female story.

Part of my beautiful work for myself has been learning to release as I am a self taught holder. Often in the release there is a whole lot of pain that I'd rather not feel. And feel I am.

The night of my first appointment I was so tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I fell asleep with Lucas in his bed and then came up to bed. As a night owl I felt really thrown. Confused.

I climbed into bed and sobbed. Like buckets. Then I slept. I wasn't crying about anything but no amount of holding was going to stop those tears. It felt special to let them flow.

My dreams have been wild. I've been exhausted. My doctor told me I need to be careful about combining too much energy work while I am going through these appointments because I tend to be on the intense side. I understand now what he was saying.

My new desired feeling is sexy. To welcome back the knowing that my body, despite leaking and flare ups, can be and feel sexy. I've always been slightly afraid of being that. Feeling that. For some reason at 38, sitting here in the equinox I am ready.

Fall's arrival combined with my newest year always brings a rebirth of something. This year I am giving birth to feeling sexy. To the woman that is emerging as I work through the release. As I embrace what is next on my list of dreams.

Tattoos, truthful conversations, soft skin, deep release, bangles adorning, stories of abundance and sexy.

On the equinox.

What are you embracing on your equinox? Is there a story you are done with and ready to release? Where do you find yourself today?

***

The bladder story, for those who need to know they aren't alone.

Prayer. Feet. And the beauty.

As our body cries out.

The pain of the present.

Spirits of Joy ~ Explore, Create, Expand

***

What:: 30 Days of Joy Up Soulwork Prompts for Creating A Vision Book and transforming your life!
When:: September 1st, 2013
How:: An email each day for 30 days with a Vision Book prompt and some story telling from me (a few videos added this time)

Will open for registration August 15th.

During the April Joy Up we created Joy Books. We got out our markers and glue and cut up magazines and allowed our creative side to flow through as a way to dive into our Soulwork.

Soulwork is about connection to self, to the now and that future woman we see and want to flow into.

Allowing ourselves to make what became vision books, was powerful. Women were coming alive as they found a part of themselves that had been lost or longing to come out. These prompts become part of their books, their daily thoughts and their writing.

Take a prompt further by exploring it through story or art. Allow each day to guide you towards living joyously, even when things are hard or challenges arise.

Know yourself. Use these prompts to spend time with yourself. To light up in a new way.

Learn how to find your desires and then create pages filled with the words and visions and feelings that surround them. As you do this you harness the true magic of the Universe. You vibrate in a new way. These books become a way for you to align what you want with what you have. They create manifesting magic in your life.

Visioning allows you to love this life now while creating a future of your dreams.

Soulwork will prompt you into new places and ideas, it will ask you to push beyond that safe place and dip into seeing truth, beauty, connection, love, joy, dreams and ritual.

• 30 days of prompts.
• 30 days of soulwork.
• 30 days of creative exploration.
• 30 days of you.
• 30 days to creating a vision book.
• 30 days of connection to spirit.
• 30 days of the gift of joy.

"I am missing Hannah's daily emails, it had become part of my morning ritual. I would read them on my cell phone before getting out of bed every morning. Then lay here quietly reflecting on them before beginning anything else."

"I have had so many little insights into me & my joy. I appreciate you and the tribe more than I can say ~ Namaste ~ Love to all " ♥

"Hannah, this beautiful journey has grown through love. Your love, that you share with all of us."

"I have included reading my prompts and taking the time to process your beautiful words in my ritual. So inspiring and a lovely way with a cup of tea to start my day. Please don't let me miss the next Joy Up. Thank you for changing my mornings. xxx"

"It is my turn to thank you (and everyone) for the tasks and gracious love that is here in this tribe."

"Thank you, dear soul...this month has been life changing for me."

There is a closed Facebook group just for those of you working through these 30 days. You can share pictures, thoughts, aha moments and see the daily journey of soulwork from others who have gone or are going through the days. Totally optional but a beautiful way to connect.

I've been visioning since I was young. As a highly-senstive child (who never knew that term) I had a brutal time dealing with my feelings. I felt overun by sensations and sadness and joy and every possible feeling you could have. One of the ways I learned to 'see' those feelings was to cut and paste. To go into a magazine and let the words and images talk to me.

Now I find it is the way I center. It is how I allow myself to know my dreams. It is how I manifest from a feeling into reality. It is a safe space to receive messages and words from the Universe through these magazines and let myself feel without fear.

Each time I complete a new page I want to stare at it for hours, sometimes I make free pages and hang them on the wall.

Vision books help us write new stories, chapters and pages for our lives. We don't have to stay stuck or in fear. We can step into our light. Maybe it seems crazy that a little book full of magazine cut outs can help us heal and create beauty in our lives. A little crazy never hurt! Let's play...

Spirits of Joy - 30 Days of Prompts

Questions you might have::

Is this a journaling course? Nope, I've never been good at kepping a journal so I wouldn't be the one to guide you to that. But I do love prompts, writing exploration, vision board work and art books. I love cutting and pasting and exploring. This is about creativity and using our right brain to deepen our joy.

What if I'm not creative? What if? Hm, I think you might surprise yourself.

I've never been able to fully participate in long e-courses. What if I can't keep up? I don't keep up with the pace of others either. I do things at my own pace. You'll have all the emails that come to save and use for any time you'd like. Take your time, read the first 5, join in at the end. Whatever works for you. It is your 30 days.

Can I participate without keeping a book? Sure thing. Sometimes just being present to the thoughts and prompts is all you need. This is about you. Not me or them. What feels good to you? You can also create a vision board, a big huge poster of your thoughts and cut outs, a piece of art to hang on the wall. The beauty of creation is all yours.

What will I need? A blank book, I like this one and they come in many different sizes, scissors, a glue stick and lots of magazines and old cards, quotes, etc. A little time and space that you can carve out for you. If you have kids have them be part of this, get them each a book so that if you are short on alone, time you can still do some visioning each day.

Spirits of Joy - 30 Days of Prompts

 

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a waiting quietly for my first baby to reach double digits and hoping that the day feels like the vision in her head, super excited to give hugs to some virtual friends in the real live world tomorrow and entering the two weeks of my monthly rhythm that feel like walking on air and gratitude kisses kind of mama.

These are my pay-it-forward lists.

Connection is the most important thing to me in my business. I love that Kate is opening up this conversation. She does so beautifully.

These moments can make you feel so alone until someone full of bravery talks about them. We are so not alone here mamas.

These are two of most favorite women, together on one page, smiles, hungers, gorgeous.

Jenn lines it all up for us here, and so honored she included me! xo

Have it. Adore it. Goes so beautifully with my tattoo love.

I am smitten with this prompt. Will be sitting with it, for now I'll just take the beauty of words from Liz.

Sometimes I wish I had found her all those years ago. But no matter, love that I have her now.

The nude.

Yes to turning waste into beauty.

Still obsessing.

***

Don't forget the Making Space Cleanse has a BOGO for the month of September!!!

And on September 20th I will be offering a FREE 30 day surprise so make sure to sign up for the weekly love letter (that cute little sign up box on the right) or pop on FB to see what it is!!!

This is about the tattoo.

The picture that confirmed deep inside that I would get a tattoo, actually a series of tattoos, was this gorgeous photo. The class, the boho, the softness, the fierceness. Yes, this is who I truly believe I am in my soul. I felt a kin-ship with this woman I had never met, I felt the calling to express myself and mark time; confirmed in one glance.

So I pinned it. Stared at it. Thought about how I would translate it into my spirit.

I learned everything I know about manifesting from two sources. My vision boards and feathers. I am on the newness of the manifesting realm and every time I find a feather I feel as though I am apprenticing with a master, the Universe, a goddess, a guru. I find feathers because I focus on them, I believe in them, I know that they will show up. My home overflows with them.

The feather is the gift from the bird.

I am not impulsive. I wanted my nose pierced in college and finally did it when I was going through a crazy time in my life, three kids, feeling completely brave and more like myself than ever before. 16 years later.

I thought about this tattoo and if I could really be OK with the permanence for years. I rearrange furniture every month, how could I believe I would still want this marking after a month, or two days? I thought about my friend's tattoo on her wrist. I have loved it since I met her when our first babes were not even 2 years old. I still love it. It is one of my favorite parts of her because it feels familiar, safe, bold and soft all at once. Another friend, mama who entered my world at the same time has my most favorite tattoo that she designed and it extends from the middle of her back out onto her shoulders. It is divine like she is. When I see it I feel her essence even more.

As my 38th year approached Patrick said, "I'm getting you a tattoo for your birthday, so time to decide." Shit. Decide and commit? Not me. A feather, a word, a symbol...back and forth. I kept going back to that beautiful picture of the woman sitting on the bench, smoothing her hair. And then one day I saw the bird. The sweet little sparrow, classic, free, soaring, gentle.

The bird who gives me these lesson in abundance each time I find her feathers.

 A symbol of spirit, connection (my superpower), softness, love, beauty, desire, being fiercely me. I will add a few soft arrow bands around my arm soon to complete the vision I set out to meet. I am proud of my mama self for being brave. Taking a risk. Sitting down with an incredible soul who talked with me about living in the now while he drew my lifelong bird friend on my wrist.

This is the gorgeous life. Feeling so like yourself, opening up new words for the story. Because the story is the best part.

Goodnight beautiful day.

Nightly Blessing: Goodnight beautiful day.

Removed the polish. Toes almost 38 years of age.
Stripped the dress off my humid skin and climbed into the jammies. Body that is starting to feel beautiful again.
Sat, still and present in the evening.
Felt the softness. In-spite of and at the same time against the hot cement.
Looked down to feel the ground support me.
Looked up to feel the moon tug at me.

"I see the moon, moon sees me. Moon sees somebody I wanna see. So God bless the moon. God bless me. God bless the somebody, I wanna see." ~Jim Brickman

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a starting again because the first start was too hard, lots of sorting to come and a trip to the dog park while dreaming of how I might get a nap today kind of mama.

These are my pay-it-forward lists. Today I'm sharing a post from the online homes of each of the guests in The Joy Up, A 30 Day Journey so you can know them more. Prep week is happening now and we will dive into our weekly soulwork starting on Sunday. There is still time to join this beautiful tribe.

Loving this series that Britta has started, going inside of the process and behind the scenes a bit!

A soul's purpose.

I have never been to camp, but this is the one I want to go to!

Following her crumbs is pure joy and heart opening.

A reminder to be present, grounded, here.

***

A huge outpouring of love for this interview with Bernardo this week. The most amazing thing is when people say, "I see myself in you." That is why our story is so important to tell.

What will you choose?

Joy is a sparkle inside. It tickles, it tingles, it plays. It is like the breeze blowing through your hair, and the sun shining down on you. It is dancing or a calm breath.

Joy can live inside of you, at all times. It is your option. Joy draws others to you, they are attracted to your sparkle. Joy does not mean you do not feel sadness or fear or pain or disappointment. Joy means that you feel extra, joy cushions you through the tough times.
It's time. For whatever you want. How are you going to get there?

By choosing joy.

The Universe is responding, but it takes doing the work and feeling the stuff and moving into the joy. I want you to set an intention. Saying I want more joy is beautiful, but we need to be specific.

We need to tell the Universe we know exactly what we are going for.

***

First email went out this morning, you can continue to sign up throughout the week and then we will be closing up the sign ups. All previous emails will be archived and available to you.

The tribe gathered is beyond my wildest expectations of women to have the honor of guiding.

What will you choose?