Each year during the Holiday Joy Up we write letters to Santa, or The Universe. This letter touched my heart deeply and on the Eve of the New Year feels like the perfect time to share it. How many of us are holding onto the Plan B instead of our spirit’s song?
As you know, my list has been the same for a magic 7 years now. On each 11:11 and every shooting star, carried on the wind with every dandelion seed. And each year one way or another, something else has been checked off. Often, in ways I never imagined it materializing. And now we are left with just the one wish. The big dog daddy. Honestly, I thought it was already delivered.
But the circumstances of the last few months have me wondering, questioning, and confused. And perhaps, that’s why it feels like you’ve included some kind of COD clause I don’t quite understand.
I suppose in truth, I have been consistent, but not exactly committed. Through the last 7 years of working and wishing (my magic formula to manifesting) toward our dreams I’ve always held onto a plan B. A backup game. A just in case, safe bet. And spent residual energy and funds to ensure that place exists, should “it not work out.”
So this year, I’m letting go of plan B. Going all in -heart, soul, finances, ego, relationships. Anything that is not in service of the work, will be shed. I’m not saving anything for the trip back. I know that plan B will never make me feel safe, should it ever come to be. I know what I want. I know what makes my heart sing. And I know that you aren’t really the one who gives it to me. But you are the one who reminds me of magic. I really need a big bag of pixie dust, a rainstorm of that fierce fucking magic that is inside of each of us, to shoot up and out of my heart.
This Christmas, all I want is to Believe in myself.
Latisha is a nature girl, plant philosopher, joy junkie and sensory herbalist. She believes the medicine is in the making and that play just might be the most potent ingredient in your potion. A little bit fairy, a little bit witch, she teaches lifestyle herbalism at HerbMother.com.