The questions keep pouring in from this post.
We can sum them up as, “How did you do it?” Here is how.
1. Be in it in truth.
I spent so many years with the pain in denial. I spent so many years with the pain in blame. I spent so many years with the pain in complete silence.
I didn’t talk about it, no one really knew. I wanted to believe it was something that came from outside of me, that if I could just find the right pill to balance my estrogen I would be fine. But I eventually stopped even looking for the pill because nothing worked. And no one truly seemed to ever understand.
I remember the day I wrote to 3 of my sweet friends who also happen to be life coaches of the most amazing variety. It was a ‘feeling sorry for myself’ letter. I told them that I was so tired of feeling pain and flare ups and that I just wanted to sink into the couch and cry and pity myself. I was asking them permission to let it all go and just be in it.
They let me. They said, “Yes. Yes you deserve to feel pissed and sad and rotten. You deserve this moment to feel sorry for yourself. And now that you’ve had it, what now? What now? What is next?”
After I allowed myself to be in it, to finally surrender to the truth I decided to get help. Real help.
I am blessed to have an incredible Dr. to guide my way, but if I never told him or asked for his help I would just be living in the pain.
2. Stop doing it alone.
I went to the best of the best and got a million invasive sucky tests to determine what all of this was about. Then the specialist suggested surgery. I said no thank you. I was dealing with a triple of threat of issues, but it doesn’t matter what they were, they just all needed to be addressed.
From there I found a physical therapist who specialized in pelvic floor and bladder.
I knew that the moment I walked into her office nothing would be the same because I was on the path to healing. Her work changed my life.
It is a huge commitment to go to therapy once a week. Huge. And I did it. I am still doing it. I am healing.
3. Deal with your shit.
As I was doing the physical work of healing it triggered out all my stuff. All my stuffing. All my shit.
I tried really hard not to deal with it. One day I realized I had no choice.
Truth. Peeling. Allowing. Surrender. All of it. It was so flipping hard sometimes I couldn’t move or breathe.
The amazing thing about the truth is that it sets you free to soar and it doesn’t matter if it has been 20 years or two months. Do it, risk it, be in it and deal with it.
This life of mine is far too precious to be living any other way than in beauty. And it will suck sometimes getting to that beauty.
As you start to peel and tell the Universe what you want watch as every person who enters your life does so to support you moving into this truth. Every book you see, word you read and story you tell will draw you back towards the journey towards flight. Your flight.
Yes, it will probably rock your whole world and scare you. You will have to make decisions you’ve never wanted to face. You will risk hurting someone you love. And you won’t want to do it because hurting someone feels wrong and scary. But what if your feeling good is the most truthful pure beauty you can bring to this lifetime? Wouldn’t that mean that those around you could only be better once you started to fly?
Oh yes baby. Yes.
4. You deserve this.
Right? Maybe it takes you until 38 years old to know that. Maybe 56 or 87 or 28 (damn lucky 28 year old!). Your life has been guiding you towards this moment. The one where you stand naked and are vulnerable and raw and know that you deserve this.
To be whole. To be healed. To be so fucking in love with your life that you make everyone around you giddy with possibility.
Be in it in truth. Stop doing it alone. Deal with your shit. You deserve this.
That is how I am doing it.