By now you have realized that isn’t me. I am bigger, shorter hair and haven’t worn blue eye shadow for at least a decade. I am not one for Barbies but this little character dating back to my sister’s childhood I like. Her strength, messy hair, exaggerated make-up and power suit are awesome. Power and beauty work well together. We don’t need to obsess about her skinny little waist, that is just how she happens to be built. No need to compare.
I have to tell you something. You’ve already guessed from the title. My clothes aren’t fitting so well and I indeed have gained weight. You need to know this. It is my duty to tell you. I want you to understand that it happens. Not to everyone, but to those of us who have battled with our weight most of our lives, it happens. Stepping off the dieting roller coaster meant knowing that these times would come. It meant having some strategies.
It meant being honest.
Looking at the why of where you are is vital. It isn’t about the weight but it is about the weight. It isn’t about the number on the scale and yet it so is about that number or Weight Watchers would not be what it was. The diet industry is rolling in the dough ($$$) because it is about the weight.
It is about the flipping weight!
Here is what my weight says to me when I start to no longer fit my stretchy pants:
- You have a candida flare up
- You are holding anger
- You are not moving your body enough
- Something is making you fearful
- Looking for something to hide behind, you found me…mwah-ha-ha (evil laugh)
- Change is coming
- I wonder if everyone will still love you, respect you, admire you, see your beauty…
- Well, it’s your story isn’t it?
It says more but I can’t tell all my secrets.
Here is how the weight feels for me:
- Vulnerable
- Challenged
- Uncomfortable
- Curious
- Pissed off
- Really sad
- Fearful
In the past my plan was of course to diet. I’m so good at dieting it sometimes makes me a little pissed off to no longer have it around. What happens to us when we gain weight? Sometimes we gain more, but usually we look for a way out of it. We get charged up, wanting to tackle it and show the scale or our zippers that we have power.
Let’s use that motivation. I want you to channel it into something other than Weight Watchers or any other diet. Use that uncomfortable, fearful place that likes to hide behind food and weight and mess up your hair, put on your power suit and however much make-up you feel appropriate. Feel your beauty now. It is so hard, I know.
Close your eyes and imagine your body at the weight you feel most comfortable. Feel the lightness. Feel the joy. Notice what is surrounding that body that feels so good. It isn’t a scale. It isn’t fear. It isn’t overwhelm.
It is beauty. It is joy. It is support. It is a coach. It is sweating. It is a fridge flowing with greens and eggplant and lemons and celery and hummus and… That’s what I see and where I gain my strength.
It is a sense that you are in control. It is allowing. It is love for that amazing body you are blessed to be in.
Yes, it feels really rotten to have gained weight. But you need to know it because it is a signal for that next turn.
Look at your options. What is surrounding you when you close your eyes and feel your body in lightness and pleasure and joy? That’s where we are headed.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hannah-Love this post. I identify with it. Especially as a health coach. And especially because I am trying to loose my extra baby-weight now. You have reminded me that I need not be fearful, and that letting go and living with power and freedom is the best option. Thanks for your words- You are so beautiful. Much love, Stephanie
stephanie recently posted..Sweet Potato & Seed Pancakes grain & nut-free
Thanks love! You are an incredible coach and mama and that focus is where the power is!
Hannah, this is incredible. I was lucky, after I had Madilyn the weight kinda fell off thanks to eating pretty well, nursing a ton and a few spinning classes here and there. Well, after my miscarriage a few months ago, not so much. Not nursing this time (obviously). I had to kick my own ass and get back on the treadmill. I have been running 3 miles a day, 5 days a week for the past 2 weeks. I feel amazing. I feel like I am a better mama. I feel like I am more clear. You can do it girl!!!!
Betsy @ BMooreHealthy recently posted..Around the Web Wednesday – 612011
I’m learning to run, it is hard baby!!!! Lucas gets mad when I push the stroller in a run so I have to say, it’s ok, I can only go a block anyway! Feeling like a better mama is so so worth the sweat!
Thanks for the reminder, Hannah! When I saw the extra five + pounds on the scale (the ones on top of the 30 or so I want to be losing) it was really hard. And in the middle of that disappointment I see Weight Watchers commercials and remember that obsessive calorie counting has worked for me in the past….. the lure can be strong! But I can do this in a healthy way that does not involve math with every meal. I can nourish and move my body in new ways that will work for me. It is good to be reminded that for those who struggle with weight, there will always be ups and downs but the downs (or should I say ups, as in up in weight??….) can be a time to learn more about ourselves.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh yeah….I know this place. I know it well. The cycle of feeling irritated that I gained back the weight and consciously knowing that I was doing it and yet responding to that irritation with more bad decisions. I’m finally starting to change that behavior and really step into the opportunity to utilize stress reduction strategies. I’m hoping some more insight like you have into the emotions comes as I get better at the behavior changes.
Gretchen recently posted..Letting Go and Riding the River
I love you so much for posting this. Okay, so I did anyway. I too have put on a few pounds in the last couple of months. Glad I’m not the only one.
You aren’t. xoxo
Thank you Hannah for being so real and honest. Weight has always been a struggle for me. It is easy for me to relate to much of what you said. I dream of being comfortable, of shedding the pounds – not only for me, but for my kids. I love your cleanses because they have made me realize that it is not so hard to be healthy – that I do not need all the extra calories, carbs and caffein that I so often think I need.
So happy the cleanses have helped you make these connections. Let’s keep it going for you!
{ 1 trackback }